Talk:Bang Bang Bang (Selena Gomez & the Scene song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: PancakeMistake (talk · contribs) 12:38, 12 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

Ref 1, italicize International Business Times, add Etienne Uzac as publisher, add date

Done, but The publisher parameter does not refer to the individual publisher, but the publishing company, which is not available.

Ref 3, add Prometheus Global Media as publisher

Done

Ref 4, add Time Inc. as publisher

Done

Ref 5, add author, decapitalize the title, Pop Crush → PopCrush

I'm confused here.

Ref 7, delink MTV Buzzworthy, MTV Networks and Viacom as they are linked in ref 2

Done

Ref 8, The New York Post → New York Post, add News Corporation as publisher, add date

Done

Ref 9, add author

Done

Ref 10, add Sarah Zupko as publisher

The publisher parameter does not refer to the individual publisher, but the publishing company, which is not available.

Ref 14, add page and publisher ID if possible

Not available.

Infobox

According to the booklet, Gomez didn't write this.

Done

Lead

"Bang Bang Bang" is a song performed by by American band Selena Gomez & the Scene, included on their third studio album, When the Sun Goes Down. → "Bang Bang Bang" is a song performed by American band Selena Gomez & the Scene, from their third studio album, When the Sun Goes Down (2011).

Done

The song was released exclusively to Tunes on Tuesday, June 7, 2011, as the first promotional single, as part of the iTunes Store's "Countdown to When The Sun Goes Down" release. → The song was released exclusively to the iTunes Store on June 7, 2011, as the album's first promotional single.

Done

Link iTunes Store

Done

80's → 1980s

Done

The song debuted at numbers ninety-six and ninety-four, respectively on the Billboard Hot 100 and Canadian Hot 100. → The song charted in the lower regions of the Billboard Hot 100 and Canadian Hot 100, at number 96 and 94, respectively.

Done

Remove the quotation marks from the tour. Also find a source for it, or remove it altogether.

Done

Background

Put a comma after Fashion

Done

The song is geared toward an ex, and Gomez tells the old boyfriend that her new one is better than he was. → The song is aimed towards an ex-boyfriend and Gomez tells him that her new boyfriend is better than he was.

Done

Composition

In the sample description: 80's → 1980s

Done

I believe midtempo is unsourced.

Done

"The song also exudes influences of 1980's synthpop, as well as New Wave, as well as bitpop." All of this is unsourced.

Done

Monotonous is not mentioned in the citation given.

Done

"The song's lyrics detail the protagonist boasting about moving on from a past relationship to a new, better one." Add a citation after this?

Done

"In the song, Gomez sings that her new boyfriend used to be a model, knows how to get her, and has deeper love." Add it for this one, too.

Done

Critical reception

Bill Lamb of About.com said "this sounds like one of the most accomplished singles yet by Selena Gomez and her band the Scene" and went on to comment "consistent quality is a key to the success of Selena Gomez as a singer and that the song "looks like it could be her fifth consecutive top 40 pop hit." → Bill Lamb of About.com considered the song one of the band's "most accomplished singles yet" and commented: "Consistent quality is a key to the success of Selena Gomez as a singer, and 'Bang Bang Bang' looks like it could be her fifth consecutive top 40 pop hit."

Done

The New York Post → New York Post

Done

...called the track "the song of the summer," complimenting its... → called the track "the song of the summer" and complimented its

Done

Wiselman also said → Furthermore, Wiselman said:

Done

Add a citation after the PopCrush review.

Done

Blair Kelly of musicOMH was less enthusiastic of the song, calling it "forgettable" and said that the track, along with "Love You like a Love Song" were "wannabe electro-pop songs which lack both lyrical merit and a really catchy hook to make up for it." → Blair Kelly of musicOMH was less enthusiastic of the song; she deemed it "forgettable" and stated that it and "Love You Like a Love Song" were both "wannabe electro-pop songs which lack both lyrical merit and a really catchy hook to make up for it."

Done

Link "Love You Like a Love Song"

Done

Following its release as a promotional single, "Bang Bang Bang" debuted...

Done

Conclusion

I'm done with my first read-through and I'm putting this on hold for 7 days. There's a whole lot of work but I believe it can be fixed :) Also, in the future, please remember to add citations, especially for genres. Pancake (talk) 18:42, 17 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Now that you have addressed my concerns I will go through the article again, probably tomorrow. Pancake (talk) 21:18, 25 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Second read-through

Lead

There is a lonely "release." after "...promotional single."
Coined by Gomez as the most personal song on the album, the song... → Coined by Gomez as the most personal song on the album, "Bang Bang Bang..."
Billboard Hot 100 → Billboard Hot 100
Link both Billboard Hot 100 and Canadian Hot 100

Background

he song is aimed... → The song...

Composition

Where did dance-pop come from??
New Wave.^[6]The song → New Wave.^[6] The song
1980's → 1980s. See the article 1980s. There should be no apostrophe.
Synthpop is linked twice

References

Ref 1, International Business Times is still a newspaper, so it should be italicized. Add The International Business Times Inc. as publisher.
MTV Buzzworthy. MTV Networks and Viacom are linked in Ref 7, but they should be linked in ref 2 as it appears first.
Ref 9, link Rovi Corporation

— Preceding unsigned comment added by PancakeMistake (talk • contribs)

Additional comments

Lead

"Coined by Gomez as the most personal song on the album ..." - this is vague, the source only mentions that she described the song as the most personal song, whereas "coined" implies she wrote the song, which she did not
"declares that her new beau is much better" - "beau" is a colloquial and uncommon word - a plain common word like "lover" is more encyclopedic
"with several noting it has the band's best work to date" - 1) this is a weird construction (a song has work?) please clarify the wording, and 2) "to date" is a wording to avoid because it becomes dated - the date those reviews were published can be named

Background

"Gomez' old relationship" - poor word choice, perhaps "former relationship"
"current boyfriend" - "current" is a word we try to avoid as it becomes dated - try a formulation that incorporates the year of the song or the time period the single was published

Composition

"with synths reminiscent of La Roux's 'Bulletproof.'" - according to whom? comparisons to other songs are opinions and I suggest not presenting them as matter-of-fact
"The song marks a mature sound for the band" - 1) the sentence needs a space to separate it from the last, 2) the construction "marks a mature sound" is vague and again the opinion is presented as fact - the author Rubenstein is mentioned in the next sentence, why not incorporate her here?
the Rubenstein quote is not necessary, you can reformulate her ideas in your own words

Reception

The reception section uses too much unnecessary direct quotation, which makes it look like it was copy-pasted from reviews. For Wikipedia one should limit usage of direct quotes to a minimum and instead reformulate content in a concise manner in one's own words by summarizing.

Credits and personnel

merely putting "source" at the end is inelegant, why not make this a sentence? the citation also needs to immediately follow the word, without a space between them

Charts

at least for me the chart is not displayed properly. if this is inherent in the template consider using a more traditional formatting

Overall

The article does not have very much substantial content, especially when the direct quotes are disregarded. I think the issue of broadness must be addressed before this can be promoted.

Hekerui (talk) 12:09, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Conclusion

There are still plenty of issues. The nominator is inactive, but has been online a few times since I posted the second read-through, but unfortunately he hasn't made any effort to fix the issues. I'm going to have to fail this. Pancake (talk) 18:51, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]