Talk:Battle of Cooch's Bridge/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Skinny87 (talk) 19:26, 29 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
'crush the rebellion' - I think this might be a tad too informal, it sounds a little like Darth Vader. Might I suggest 'bring the colonial rebellion to an end', or something similar, with the same wikilink to the Revolutionary War?

' Lieutenant General William Howe embarked a large army onto transports ' - How large was this army exactly? Do we have any figures?

'Head of Elk ' - Can it be specified, without going via the wikilink, whether this was a town, or a village, or a settlement? It would help with context.

'Due to the relatively poor quality of the landing area, his troops moved immediately to the north' - why would this make them move north? Because it was difficult to create a beach-head as such?

'From these positions, Howe and Continental Army Major General George Washington observed each others' armies maneuver.' - Wait, which position was Washington observing from? This is the first time George has been introduced, and its rather sudden with little context. Was Washington there to begin with, or did he arrive later? And was he in actual command of the troops in the area, and what army did he have - where were they positioned, exactly, and when had they arrived? This entire section is confusing and needs rewriting with more context.

'Washington would normally have assigned the duties of advance guard' - This also confuses me, and I think it's due to the lack of context in the previous sentences. So Washington's army was already in the area? Or was it some distance away, hence the need for an advanced guard?

'A small company of Hessian dragoons led by Captain Johann Ewald headed up the road from the tavern toward Cooch's Bridge as Cornwallis's advance guard, and was struck by a volley of fire from an American ambush.' - Something of a run-on sentence, could be split into two sentences. Also, given that there were apparently jager light infantry with the company, then this seems inaccurate.

'Most of the dragoons went down, but Ewald did not, and he quickly ordered the Hessian and Ansbach jägers forward to meet the Americans.' - Okay, two problems here. Firstly, 'went down' is too informal and no figures are given for killed and injured from this initial ambush. Secondly, how can Ewald, a Captain, order forward jager light infantry when they're commanded by a German Lieutenant-Colonel?

'got mired in swampy terrain' - I think 'had become mired' makes more sense in terms of tenses.

Casualty section is a small fragment sentence, suggest merging to paragraph above.

Who was Thomas Cooch, and is he notable?

'The British advanced continued' - simple ce needed here
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Why are the British casualty reports so vague? Because it was just a small skirmish, perhaps?
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
The photo of Ewald cuts into the Aftermath section, which I've been told previously shouldn't happen.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Partial review for now, will finish it later. But this needs some work in terms of context for the things that took place before the skirmish at the bridge itself, as at the moment it's very confusing. Skinny87 (talk) 11:48, 3 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This seems like it could be a Good Article, but it needs much more context for the broader campaign it was a part of, as I've detailed above. Skinny87 (talk) 13:37, 3 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've improved the background, and dealt with the other smaller issues. Let me know if more is needed... Magic♪piano 20:30, 4 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Fantastic, and exactly what I was looking for. The quote about Maxwell from the Prussian officer is a nice touch as well. Passing now. Skinny87 (talk) 21:11, 4 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

One frustrating aspect of working on this article was that the McGuire book is not represented in Google Books, so I finally had to track down a copy at a nearby library; he has more quotes, but that one was a definite keeper. Magic♪piano 21:34, 4 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]