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Talk:Battle of Trenton/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

This article does not meet the Good Article criteria and has therefore failed. Issues include:

  • Second and third paragraph of " Background" is unreferenced
  • First and second paragraph of "Hessian Moves" is unreferenced
  • Second paragraph of "The Crossing and March" is unreferenced
  • First and fourth paragraph of "The Battle" is unreferenced
  • First paragraph of " Aftermath" is unreferenced
  • Entire " Legacy" section is unreferenced
  • References are not formatted according to WP:CITE/ES.
  • Bullet points needed for "See also"
  • " References" should be in alphabetical order by last name

Once these issues have been resolved, please renominate the article. Gary King (talk) 17:57, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

References still need to be formatted per WP:CITE/ES. Gary King (talk) 19:31, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, please keep future messages here so everything is in one spot :) Anyways, the required components of every URL reference is title, URL, publisher, and access date. {{cite web}} can help with this so you don't have to type out all of the formatting by hand. Gary King (talk) 23:14, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
After some slow, and painful work, I believe I have done everything. Red4tribe (talk) 00:40, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, sorry, but all references also require a publisher (by using the "publisher" field in {{cite web}} if you are using that template). Gary King (talk) 00:43, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, there it is. Red4tribe (talk) 01:59, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The first reference does not work for me. Publishers are never "none" – they are typically the publishing website. Please take a look at an article at WP:FA2008 to see how references are typically formatted if you'd like to see. Gary King (talk) 02:04, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I believe that is it. Red4tribe (talk) 02:43, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Okay.

  • Please unify the page number references. "Fischer p.538" – p. is used but "Brooks, Hohwald (1999) pg.56" – pg. is used. Choose one and go with that.
  • "up,"." – remove the comma
  • "west. [7] A third" → "west.[7] A third" – remove the spaces before footnotes per WP:FN

Gary King (talk) 02:49, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That is all done. Red4tribe (talk) 04:00, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Footnotes still have spaces before them when they shouldn't. Gary King (talk) 04:03, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I misread what you said, but I believe I have everything now.Red4tribe (talk) 04:50, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "up"." → "up."" – move the punctuation per WP:PUNC
  • Several references are used multiple times. Use reference names (WP:REFNAME) to merge them together.
  • "See also" section goes before "Footnotes" per WP:LAYOUT
  • I suggest adding a reference to the end of every paragraph so I can see that everything is clearly referenced.

Gary King (talk) 05:01, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok done. Red4tribe (talk) 19:35, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, great!

  • Could the lead be expanded to better summarize the entire article, per WP:LEAD?
  • up."" – has double quotes at the end
  • "doubts, he wrote" – disconnected sentences here; either use a semicolon or a period

Gary King (talk) 19:41, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I did that as well.Red4tribe (talk) 20:02, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "school schild in the"
  • "to this day" – try to avoid dated terms. Probably best to remove this.
  • link dates like "December 23" if dates are to be linked in this article; be consistent, per WP:DATE.
  • for times like "y 12 AM[16] until 3 AM, and", use the 12:00 a.m. format per WP:DATE.

Gary King (talk) 20:23, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I got everything. Red4tribe (talk) 20:36, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • "The Battle's legacy lives on, as almost any school child in the United States could tell you about Washington's victory." – doesn't seem very encyclopedic, especially "could tell you", since this isn't really a narration
  • "this crucial American victory." – crucial seems a bit POV, perhaps remove that one word
  • "Prior to the battle, American morale was at an all time low." – "all-time", and that also doesn't seem very encyclopedic. Was it proven that their morale was at all "all-time low"?
  • I think generally the entire article needs its prose reworked.

Gary King (talk) 20:49, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • i would move the boat talk up to crossing section - Durham boat
  • add something about the marblehead regiment 114th Continental Regiment
  • 'victory or death' is from cato Joseph Addison
  • i would incorporate the myth in the body as fact with explanation

Pohick2 (talk) 19:25, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]