Talk:Bernt Michael Holmboe/GA1

GA Review

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Hi, I'll be reviewing this article. I'll post my detailed comments here in the next day or so. --Malleus Fatuorum 22:56, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

a) "... was among other things invited to celebrate Christmas at the Holmboe family residence in Eidsberg". This is a bit vague. What were these "other things"?

b) "Can we have English translations for Lærebog i Mathematiken. Første Deel, Lærebog i Mathematiken. Anden Deel, and the other Norwegian book titles?

c) "... Holmboe edited and published Abel's selected works in two volumes—Oeuvres complètes de N.H. Abel". This doesn't seem quite right. The title says complete works, yet the text says selected works.

d) "The books became widespread ...". Does this mean they were widely read, widely distributed, both?

e) "Mainly theoretical and abstract ...". In the context of a mathematics textbook, what's the difference between "theoretical" and "abstract"?

f) "In 1826, Holmboe was appointed lector at the Royal Frederick University". Lector" is rather an unusual title for an academic in English. Would his be better translated as lecturer?

g) "Holmboe was also active in the field of insurance." Seems a bit vague. Could this sentence not be dropped?

h) "... courtesy of his former student Ole Jacob Broch." Also a bit too vague. Was Broch a director of the company?

i) "... the country's first committee to control insurance companies". In what way did it "control" them? Surely they were controlled by their directors? Would this be better as "regulate", for instance?

j) "Holmboe opposed the presence of Swedish troops in Norway during the summer that year." This needs some context. Why were there Swedish troops in Norway? Whose side were they on? Was Holmboe for or against Norway's separation from Denmark?

k) Did Holmboe not publish any academic papers?

l) The lead is a little too short to adequately summarise the article.

That's about it. I'm putting article on hold to allow time for these issues to be addressed. --Malleus Fatuorum 14:45, 17 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing it so fast. And MANY thanks for taking the time to improve/copyedit the article. I'm not a native speaker, but to see how much needed to be rewritten was an eye-opener. Punkmorten (talk) 20:43, 20 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

a) The source says "among others". Rewrote, though.

b) Done.

c) I got it wrong, apparently. The source only says "Abel's works". I guess we, from the book title, can deduce complete-ness. Rewrote.

d) Source says "widely used". Rewrote.

e) Source does say that the "textbooks were quite abstract and theoretically inclined". Rewrote though.

f) Rewrote.

g) Not sure if it should be dropped. One could say "insurance business", but seeing as he was on both sides of the table, he was, in a way, involved in the broader field (which was more or less fledgling at the time). The sentence is supposed to introduce the reader to this fact.

h) Have no idea what I tried to convey. Rewrote.

i) Rewrote - although not with "regulate".

j) Rewrote.

k) Some are mentioned in the sentence beginning with "His later publications include".

l) Will see to it. Took a shot. I'm not good at writing leads, though, so any help would be appreciated.

Punkmorten (talk) 20:19, 20 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for addressing the issues I raised so quickly. I'm happy to list this article as a GA now, well done on a nice piece of work.

PS. If I could write as well in Norwegian as you can in English I'd be pretty pleased with myself.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.