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Talk:Billy Bates (baseball)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Taylor Trescott (talk · contribs) 03:40, 15 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this article over the next 5 days. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 03:40, 15 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

OK, here goes:

  • The "early life" and "collegiate career" sections aren't very long; maybe merge them, making "collegiate career" a subsection of the "early life".
  • "Pete Mackanin called the game 'the most absurd game" Can we avoid using "game" twice here?
  • "added that he shouldn't have attempted the steal" read MOS:N'T
  • "In Game 1, the Reds defeated the Athletics 7–0 in what an Associated Press writer called "a stunning combination of power and pitching"" Any reason why you don't give the writer's name? This says that his name is Jim Donaghy.
  • "Cincinnati ultimately defeated the Pirates and moved on to the World Series, where they would play the Oakland Athletics for the league championship." This sentence ends a paragraph, but there's no citation.
    • Added reference.
  • "Bates didn't play in either game." watch for N'T
    • Expanded.
  • "Bates couldn't take his spot" N'T
    • Rewrote.
  • "he couldn't physically play anymore" N'T
    • Rewrote.
  • "Ten years later, Bates continued to live in Houston, and worked for an equipment supplier in the oil and gas industry. Outside of work, he coached his daughter's softball team." This reads awkwardly. Start with an "As of 2010, he lives in Houston..." and write the rest in the present tense.

On hold. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 18:19, 15 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'm satisfied with the article's current state; promoting. Taylor Trescott - my talk + my edits 16:19, 22 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]