Talk:Boston Massacre/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jim Sweeney (talk · contribs) 22:28, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

~~Is the historical Massachusetts Governor the same as the present Governor of Massachusetts if so it should be linked?~~
- Technically, it is not. I've linked List of colonial governors of Massachusetts instead. Magic♪piano 14:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
~~military occupation of Boston, is POV can the wording be changed~~ Rephrased Magic♪piano 14:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Private Hugh White, a British sentry, stood on duty outside the Custom house - Private Hugh White, was posted on sentry duty outside the Custom house or Private Hugh White, was on sentry duty outside the Custom house - Stood on sentry does not read right Rephrased Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
and seven or eight soldiers of the 29th Regiment of Foot - and a section (military) reads better unless the numbers important Fixed the count of soldiers. Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The soldiers Preston sent were Corporal William Wemms - were the rest privates ? should be clarified
a ragged series of shots was fired, which hit eleven men - there were only ten soldiers (one nco, with seven or eight privates and Hugh White - how were eleven injured
- This is one of those little mysteries. The musket balls are known to have bounced -- Samuel Maverick was near the back of the crowd, and was described as being struck by a ricocheting bullet. The discrepancy in count is something even the otherwise thorough Zobel does not address. There is also enough uncertainty in exactly what happened that it is possible some of the soldiers reloaded (although primary accounts do not seem to mention this). Magic♪piano 14:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
In the aftermath section the numbers don't add up either Preston and the eight soldiers had been arrested - according to the account there must have been a minimum of nine and Preston
- The confusion over "seven or eight" stems from an order Preston gave to a subordinate. In fact, there were 7 privates, one corporal, and Preston. Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
In the incident section only soldiers fired into the crowd, but in the aftermath four civilians were alleged to have fired shots. This should be included in the incident section
- The allegation happened later; given the apparently baseless nature of them, what is there to tell earlier? (Zobel describes testimony that people in the customs house opened windows and looked out. The civilians were not arrested until after the indictments were handed down. Zobel characterizes this as a witchhunt by the radical faction against customs people.) Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
more than 90 depositions - earlier in the text all numbers less than 100 are written out for consistancy they should be the same
- WP:ORDINAL says that numbers below ten are written out. The exceptions here are an "eleven" (an age given in a quotation), and "seventeen" (again an age, but unquoted and written out for consistency with the earlier age). Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

As I understand WP:ORDINAL, it considers three separate cases;

numbers from zero to nine, which are normally spelled out in words
numbers greater than nine that would require more than two words to spell out; these are normally rendered in numerals
numbers that are greater than nine that would only need one or two words to spell out; these can be either spelled out in words or rendered as numerals.

Most ignore the third point, they can be spelled out but that your choice so ok.

after 2 1/2 hours deliberation - after two and a half Fixed Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
What makes Earlyamerica.com. a reliable source Replaced Magic♪piano 18:34, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Same with The Freedom Trail Foundation
- This organization is an umbrella organization coordinating those that own and manage the sites on Boston's Freedom Trail. Magic♪piano 14:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Same with Bostonian Society
- This is the organization that now owns and operates the Old State House (and, as is stated in the article, stages the massacre reenactments). Magic♪piano 14:03, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Some cn tags added - they may be covered by the cite further in the text but I believe for clarification they should have in line cites. Added extra citations. Magic♪piano 14:37, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

An interesting article well done I have put it on hold for seven days to allow points to be addressed. If you can strike out or otherwise mark which have been done. Any concerns just let me know. Jim Sweeney (talk) 00:36, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your review! Magic♪piano 18:34, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]