Talk:Burt Gustafson/GA1

GA Review

Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:37, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 21:03, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:03, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Burton F. "Burt" Gustafson
After attending Northern Michigan University (NMU) where he was a three-sport star, he coached several high school football, basketball, and track and field teams before returning to NMU where he served from 1956 to 1961 as a coach in four sports. long sentence, consider splitting into two.

Early life and education

Any reason for piping Newberry? I get not wanting to repeat Michigan, but Newberry isn't Chicago or something like that. Newberry could be far away.
Be consistent with the Oxford comma. You use it in the lead but not in this section.

Coaching career

This may be personal preference, but if you don't have a really controversial statement, I typically don't like having references in the middle of sentences. Just push them to the end of the sentence. Just a recommendation to make reading easier.
...also found time to attend the... a little too colloquial, just say it like it is ...also attended the...
...the University of Michigan, and earned... -> ...the University of Michigan, where he earned...
...basketball coach, but became varsity head coach... no need for the comma
...resigning to focus on track and football... be consistent with the use of "track and field" instead of just "track"
NAIA should be written out and linked
...he was shifted to a front office role, after just one year as special teams coach. no need for the comma

Later life and death

Again, Oxford comma here but not in previous section.
In the 2010s, he was interviewed several times by Green Bay Packers historian Cliff Christl. this seems like a random sentence. Is there more context you can add, like why or what came out of the interviews?

References

The "Notes" section should be in its own level-2 section. Then "References" can hold the citations and the "Citations" heading can be deleted. See George Whitney Calhoun for an example.
References 3, 10, 13, 19, 20, 21 and 23 should have access-dates
I archived links, btw
Spot check: #10 looks good, #15 looks good, #21 looks good, and #23 looks good. Earwig brought up no issues.

Images

N/A

Nice work! Putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:26, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've addressed all the issues, @Gonzo fan2007: - let me know if there's any other concerns. BeanieFan11 (talk) 15:17, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- BeanieFan11, I added the interview sentence back in and expanded a bit. Sorry, I thought it was really good to include, it just needed some more. I also added in another Christl source, since I think it is a great article to provide additional reference. Looks good, passing! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:37, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.