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Talk:Cherry Pop/GA2

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GA Review

[edit]

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 03:01, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

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  • In the image's alt, add a space after "be seen." and change the period into a semicolon
  • Capitalize the 'a' in alt so it's in the same style as everything else (just for appearance sake)
  • Remove the flatlist from genre as only one genre is listed

Lead

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Paragraph 1

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  • Change the digital download link from "digital distribution" to "music download"
  • Change 'from the record.o 'from Unlocked.'

Paragraph 2

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  • 'Regisor' is not a word
  • Remove the 'a' before choreography
  • Remove 'inside a white room'; it's unnecessary
  • Is it necessary that we include it topped the iTunes charts in Japan? I mean, Adele's "Hello" topped like 40some iTunes charts and none of it's mentioned in her article

Composition

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  • Change section title to 'Background and composition'
  • Change 'Further working' to 'Further's work'; this sentence needs to be worded as there are too many clauses
  • Change "Stan's interviews prior to the release of 'Cherry Pop'.[5] She also noticed influences..." to "Stan's interviews prior to the release of 'Cherry Pop'; she also noticed influences..." (This means you should also move Ref #5 to the end of the sentence)
  • Say "An administrator of IasiFun..."
  • Remove the link to 'kiss'

Reception

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Paragraph 1

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  • Rename this section 'Critical reception'
  • Please provide a topic sentence, like: "Cherry Pop" received generally mixed reviews from music critics upon release.
  • I don't understand what the first sentence (the one about The Singles Jukebox) you have is trying to convey
  • Anthony Easton's review belongs more in composition than here
  • Remove the date from Hitfire's review; just say "Hitfire praised the song's chorus as being..."
  • 'Chours' is not a word
  • Is 'trashy' a good thing?
Yes, it is.
  • Add 'like' before you list "her previously launched songs"
  • Change 'launched' to 'released'
  • Hitfire's review is overly long; could the last sentence be removed? And, are there more reviews available for this song? Perhaps you could look at album reviews for more...

Paragraph 2

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  • Rename this section 'Commercial performance'
  • Again, is the iTunes information really necessary?
  • Organisers → Organizers
  • native Airplay 100 → Romanian Radio Airplay Chart
  • Add the last sentence to the end of the one before it, using a semicolon

Live performances

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  • Change to "On 12 December 2014, Stan performed both "Cherry Pop" and "Vanilla Chocolat" on an episode of Vocea Romaniei"
  • Italicize Vocea Romaniei
  • How is Ref #2 citing that is was performed during her tours? Isn't it the album's notes?

Music video

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Paragraph 1

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  • Move this section before 'Live performances'
  • Remove the photo of a tennis racket
  • Upload a photo of the music video under fair use to the article
  • I don't know if Stan's quote of the right side of the section is needed; could you reduce it and include it in the paragraph instead?

Paragraph 2

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  • gets enlightened → becomes enlightened
  • gets a tennis racket → retrieves a tennis racket
  • before putting it down and giving it to a fellow dancer on her left → before returning the racket to a nearby dancer
  • Again, 'chours' is not a word
  • Synchroned is not a word
  • What do you mean by 'dressing wigs'?
  • multicoloured → multicolored
  • The last two sentences need to be reworded; there are far too many clauses in these sentences

Credits and personnel

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  • Move this section below 'Track listings'

Track listings

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  • You only need one source for the digital download

Release history

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  • The release dates are not in chronological order; please fix this

Charts

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  • Move this above 'Release history'

References

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  • [14] - Italicize Vocea Romaniei
  • [17] - Provide a link to YouTube
  • [21] - Provide a link to iTunes Store

A few more changes

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  • Please add sortables to the charts; view Baby Don't Lie#Charts to see what I mean and as an example
  • Make the music video picture a bit larger
  • Remove the 'Reception' header' and remove an equal sign from the beginning and end of 'Critical reception' and 'Commercial performance'
  • Remove the 's' in "A 23-seconds sample..." under the audio sample
@Cartoon network freak: After this I'll pass the article; thanks for your cooperation. Carbrera (talk) 00:29, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Carbrera All done! Thank you very much for your time! Cheers, Cartoon network freak (talk) 00:38, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

End of GA Review:

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This article needs a bit of work before passing, so I'm gonna put it on hold. Thank you. Carbrera (talk) 16:40, 25 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Carbrera Everything done and responded to one of your comments. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 00:08, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]