Talk:Cliff Brumbaugh/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: BeanieFan11 (talk · contribs) 01:40, 22 October 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: WikiOriginal-9 (talk · contribs) 13:20, 24 October 2024 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

• Lead needs expanded a lot.
  • Expanded.
• Link baseball in lead.
  • Linked.
• "Clifford Michael Brumbaugh" needs to be cited in the first sentence of the body.
  • Done.
• Split "Early life and college career" into their own level-2 sections ("Early life", "college career")
  • Done.
• "for the Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens" change to "for the Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens of the University of Delaware"
  • Done.
• "in Wilmington where he was" comma before where.
  • Done.
• "509 and 31 runs batted in," already abbreviated RBIs earlier so change it to RBIs.
  • Done.
• "271 with 21 hits and 11 runs batted in" same here.
  • Done.
• "Delaware American Legion Player of the Year, for his play with the Stahl American Legion team" shouldn't American Legion be linked in the first part of that sentence? Also change the link to American Legion Baseball.
  • Done.
• Added Nippon Professional Baseball outfielders cat.
• "having 41 hits and an on-base percentage" link Hit (baseball) and On-base percentage.
  • Done.
• For that matter, let's go back to "He also placed second in runs scored" and link Run (baseball).
  • Done.
• "Brumbaugh started in 47 of 49 games and" link to Starting lineup.
  • Done.
• "As a junior, Brumbaugh helped Delaware reach the NCAA Tournament while batting .442" They're not listed at 1995 NCAA Division I baseball tournament? Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens baseball doesn't have them at the tournament in 1995? Also, link NCAA Tournament.
  • Well, that's confusing. Given that they don't seem to have made the tournament that year, I removed it from the article.
• "He immediately became a starter and one of the best in the league for the Renegades" I don't see where that source says he was one of the best in the league? Maybe you can move ref 12 up there that says he was MVP.
  • Done.
• "19 doubles, four triples and two home runs" link triple.
  • Done.
• "in addition to 15 bases stolen" link stolen bases.
  • Done.
• "He was asked by the Rangers to become a power-hitter and "delivered" on their request" Change to Texas Rangers per source. There is some confusion here since the previous sentence mentioned Charlotte Rangers.
  • Done.
• "He improved over the second half of the season as he had promised to fans" when was the second half of the season, was that during June/July or after??
  • Not sure – should I just remove it?
    • It just reads a little confusing right now because it said he was Player of the Month in June and then an All-Star in July. Then the next sentence says he improved over the second half of the season. How could he improve on being an All-Star? ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 18:10, 25 October 2024 (UTC)
      • Moved that sentence to before the all-star part – does that work? BeanieFan11 (talk) 18:12, 25 October 2024 (UTC)
• "He was at-bat twice and struck out" link at bat and struck out.
  • Done.
• Add 2x Korean Series champion to infobox.
  • Added.
• "his batting average set a long-standing record among all foreign players" Did it get broke or something?
  • It was still standing as of 2012 (when the source was written); I wasn't able to find anything after that (there's a decent possibility its been broken in the past 12 years so that's why I worded it that way).
• "slugging percentage" probably a link for that.
  • Done.
• "due to a nagging Achilles tendon injury" I don't feel like translating Korean so I'm going to trust that the source says that?
• "He left South Korea following the 2009 season" Did he become a free agent or something? He didn't get released?
  • The source translates (for this and the above comment) Furthermore, his long-distance hitting power declined rapidly due to an Achilles tendon injury. In the end, Broomba had to leave Korea, where he had grown accustomed, at the end of the 2009 season. It doesn't seem clear if/how he became a free agent, etc., just that he had to leave at the end of 2009. Thoughts?
    • Ok, let's just leave it. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 18:11, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

I think that's everything. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 13:20, 24 October 2024 (UTC)

• @WikiOriginal-9: BeanieFan11 (talk) 18:02, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

  Excellent work on this. I just have one more thing: could you work KBO batting champion into the lead somehow please? Thanks, ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 18:14, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

  "He improved over the second half of the season as he had promised to fans, having the majority of his home runs and RBIs during that time." Ref 18 doesn't even mention Brumbaugh? ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 18:16, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

  "Outfielder Cliff Brumbaugh vowed he would have a great second half and he delivered for the second consecutive year. Brumbaugh had 20 of his 25 homers and 57 of 89 RBIs after the midway point" – I also added batting champion to the lead. BeanieFan11 (talk) 18:19, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

  Ref 18 doesn't go to that. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 18:21, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

  Lewis, Barry (September 17, 1999). "Letdown? Not for Drillers". Tulsa World. p. 19, 24 – via Newspapers.com. – click "24". BeanieFan11 (talk) 18:24, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

  Ok, I didn't see that pg 24 link. ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 18:26, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.