Talk:DJ AM/GA2
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 23:18, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
I'll do this one soon. JAGUAR 23:18, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- "Barker and Goldstein both survived the 2008 South Carolina Learjet 60 crash, which killed the other four people on board" - to clarify, were they the only survivors?
- Yes, i've clarified this in the lead. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- "He appeared as himself in the film Iron Man 2, which was dedicated in his memory after his death" - I feel that this sentence should be placed after the one about his death, but if it doesn't work out then it's fine to leave it
- Done. I've actually reworded the second paragraph of the lead a fair bit. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- "He also dated Mandy Moore and Jessica Stam" - any indication to when he dated them? Feel free to ignore this
- Done. On further inspection the link with Stam appears to be a bit trivial, i'm not sure if I should just remove it but i've left it in for now. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- "After having played for his friends and at private parties for some time, when he was 21 Goldstein got his first paying job as a DJ at an illegal after-hours club in Los Angeles" - I think this would sound better as After having played for his friends and at private parties for some time, Goldstein got his first paying job as a DJ at an illegal after-hours club in Los Angeles at the age of 21...
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- "and the third season of The Simple Life" - during the third season of The Simple Life, as this sounds he appeared in every episode of that season (unless that's true?)
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- "They were transported to the Joseph M. Still Burn Center in Augusta, Georgia" - I'd link one of these for accessibility
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- The final sentence of tributes section is missing a closing quotation mark
- Done. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
References
[edit]On hold
[edit]Good work on this article! Once all of the above are clarified then this should be ready to meet the GA criteria. Sorry for the delay too JAGUAR 16:35, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- @Jaguar: I've attempted to address everything. Let me know if you have further concerns. Freikorp (talk) 23:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you for addressing them, Freikorp! This looks like it's good to go now. JAGUAR 14:22, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.