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Talk:Dallas Braden's perfect game/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 17:44, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·


Some copy changes. Please check all quotes for accuracy as two spot checks came back with minor tweaks in the quotes. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 18:22, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes

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Lead

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  • He got drunk the night before, and was still suffering from the effects of a hangover when he got to the stadium. Remove comma: User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS)
  • Braden would suffer from injuries throughout the remainder of his career, and retired from baseball in 2014. Same

Background

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  • Dallas Braden made his debut for the Oakland Athletics in 2007, and by 2009, had cemented his role as a starting pitcher for the team. Should be ...in 2007 and, by 2009, ...
  • During an April 22 game, Rodriguez walked across the pitchers mound, which Braden took exception too. Should be During an April 22 game, Rodriguez walked across the pitcher's mound, to which Braden took exception.
  • Rodriguez dismissed the pitcher after the game, and said: "I really don't want to extend his extra 15 minutes of fame." Remove comma (CinS)
    • Consider alternatives for "said" (MOS:SAID) and maybe a comma instead of a colon. This recurs.
  • Rodriguez' remarks Should be Rodriguez's, per MOS:'S

Game

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  • Braden woke up hungover, and arrived at the stadium much later than normal. Remove comma (CinS)
  • The Athletics video coordinator Adam Rhoden noted that Braden usually would spend two hours before every game reading scouting reports of opposing batters, but for that game he only had enough time to warm up and play catch with his catcher Landon Powell.
    • Remove "The" at the start.
    • Add commas after "that game" and "catcher"
  • The Associated Press later described it as "the closest the Rays got to a hit." For quoting a sentence fragment, MOS:LOGICAL: period outside of quotes
  • Strikeout is one word.
  • In the sixth inning, Braden struck out Aybar, and induced two foul pop-ups that were caught by Kouzmanoff. Remove comma after Aybar (CinS)
  • 12 pitch at bat Should be "12-pitch at bat"
  • "That's when it kind of hit me" said Braden. Comma after "me"
  • Braden believed Wolf had called it a strike, and incorrectly assumed the count was two balls and two strikes. Remove comma (CinS)
  • Had Kapler not swung, he would have drawn a walk and broke up the perfect game. "Broken", not "broke"
  • Braden had throw 107 pitches "thrown"
  • Of the 27 batters he faced, Braden struck out 6, and had a game score of 93. Try Of the 27 batters he faced, Braden struck out 6; he had a game score of 93.

Aftermath

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  • Lindsey said to reporters "stick it A-Rod," which is Alex Rodriguez' nickname. Try Lindsey said to reporters, "Stick it, A-Rod", referring to Alex Rodriguez.
  • Rodriguez responded by saying: "I've learned in my career that it's always better to be remembered for some of the good things you do on the field, and good for him. He threw a perfect game. And, even better, he beat the Rays." Comma, not colon

Statistics

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  • Encouragement: Consider hidden captions for these tables using {{sronly}} for screen reader accessibility. This should be easily doable for everything but the linescore.

Spot checks

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  • 5: “I don’t care if I’m Cy Young or the 25th man on a roster,” Braden said after the game. “If I’ve got the ball in my hand and I’m out there on that mound, that’s not your mound. You want to run across the mound? Go run laps in the bullpen. That’s my mound.” Should be "a roster", not "the roster", in the article. The quote does not seem to be correctly reproduced.
  • 6: “A-Rod kind of dismissed him after the game like, ‘Who is this guy? I’m not even going to answer that and give him his 15 minutes of fame,’” catcher Landon Powell said. “That was kind of a big deal. People were making ‘Get Off My Mound’ T-shirts.” The quote does not quite match. And the article will need to make it clear it's Powell's summary. This needs fixing.
  • 9: Mother’s Day was difficult for Braden and his grandmother, Peggy Lindsey, who’d raised him after Braden’s mother, Jodie Atwood, died when Dallas was in high school. Braden — who was 26 the day of his historic game — had just wanted to forget about it. “It’s just a day you’re trying to get by,” Braden said. “You’re waiting for 12:01 to roll around so it’s over.” checkY
  • 14: Google's book preview omits this passage. It would appear to be accurate given the material around it, though. checkY
  • 20: Braden appearance on Letterman. checkY

Earwig mostly flags quotes and some banal phrases like "the Tampa Bay Rays".

Images

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  • The images of Braden and the Coliseum are CC-licensed.

@Sammi Brie: Hi there! Thank you for taking up this review. My life's been a bit hectic over the last few days, but after tomorrow I should be able to address the issues brought up in the review. Famous Hobo (talk) 06:43, 25 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sounds good. Ping me when you are ready. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 06:48, 25 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammi Brie: Alright, I've addressed most of the issues brought up. The only one I'm unclear about is the usage of {{sronly}}. Simply put, I've never used {{sronly}}, so I'm not sure if I implemented it correctly. I copied the box score onto my sandbox, and added screen reader lines at the beginning of each table, denoting the team's batters and pitchers statistics. Hopefully this looks good. Famous Hobo (talk) 02:39, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The captions are a little long, but I went ahead and added shorter ones to the article. It's not a GA requirement specifically, but people who work with tables should know about MOS:DTAB. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 02:54, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.