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Talk:Days in the Sun/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 21:40, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Review arriving in the next days. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:40, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • had developed the concept for the song in 2007 → avoid repeating yourself with "song"
  • during the first discussions of a live-action adaptation → during early discussions regarding a live-action adaptation
  • "Days in the Sun" was made available → avoid repeating yourself with "Days in the Sun"
  • was made available the Blu-ray release → "on" before "the"
  • It had been changed after the test audience → change "the" to "a"; you haven't mentioned the test audience yet, so starting with "the" is kind of abrupt
  • some commentators praised its content and others questioned → it would be better to use ",while" instead of "and" here, as it is a contrast

Infobox

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  • You can state only "Menken" in his appearance as a producer

Background and release

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  • when they first began discussions on a possible → during early discussions regarding a possible
  • described it as a lullaby → use "the song" here to avoid repeating yourself
  • creative process, Menken said that he prefer to conduct collaborations in-person. He explained: "I prefer to write face to face in the room, → creative process, Menken said that he prefers to conduct collaborations in-person: "I prefer...
  • Alan Menken and Tim Rice had written the music and lyrics. → The writing and production process were both handled by Menken and Rice.
  • live-action adaptation Beauty and the Beast; the other three tracks were → live-action adaptation Beauty and the Beast, along with

Context and composition

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  • would sing for him. He explained that the → would sing for him, while further explaining that the (very short sentences don't flow!)
  • lives as humans.[12] The servants feel → lives as humans,[12] with them feeling (very short sentences don't flow!)
  • Emma Watson's solo contains → only last name
  • Bob Strauss called the track as "a melancholy → "as" is not needed here
  • as the test audience → same as in lead
  • required someone who could sing the part. → required someone to sing the part

Critical reception

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  • Crystal Bell cited it as → Bell from MTV cited it as
  • Bell had already been identified in a previous section as writing for MTV so it would not necessary to repeat. I also think that it is necessary to repeat her full name to avoid potential confusion (i.e. readers will know who "Watson" is referring to, but "Bell" by itself may lead to unnecessary confusion). Aoba47 (talk) 22:22, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Bell described it as Emma Watson's → only last name
  • Audra McDonald → only last name

Other stuff

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Copy-violation

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References

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  • As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

Outcome

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 On hold for 7 days. You really did a great job with the article. Reading one of your Disney songs GANs is always interesting. Best regards and good luck with editing, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:34, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.