Talk:Dear Zindagi/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Bluesphere (talk · contribs) 07:34, 14 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Greetings, I will give this one a review. ~~This might take me a few days so bear with me.~~ Blue sphere 07:34, 14 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your patience. Here are my comments:

Lead

Is Dear Life the movie's official English-language title? If not, then it's not supposed to be italicized. Please substitute it with a {{literal translation}} and put the English translation of the title, sans the italics.

Done

Principal photography took place in Goa and Mumbai. Why not complete this sentence by adding the dates it began and ended shooting?

Done

Plot

The film is set in Mumbai and Goa. Either you remove this entirely or just use it as a dependent clause (without wikilinks) for the sentence Kaira is a promising cinematographer who wishes to direct her own films. (i.e. In Mumbai and Goa, Kaira is a promising cinematographer...)

Done

The movie ends with a viewing of Kaira's short film... Don't say "the movie ends", nor write in this tense in plot summary. Consider rewording this accordingly.

Not done Please illustrate an example.

As I said, just state how the movie ends; no need to include "the movie ends". Blue sphere 13:23, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

He convinces her that she doesn't need to forgive her parents for abandoning her, Avoid contractions in encyclopedic writing per MOS:N'T

Done

Cast

Since some of the names here are sourced, you might as well provide sources for the other players.

Not done You still haven't sourced the other names. Blue sphere 13:23, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Already

Done All names in the "Cast" section are listed in the fourth source.

Development and casting

Can you add something about how the director came across the idea for the film? Is the premise conceived from a personal experience of the director or someone with whom she's well acquainted?

Done

The editing for the film was headed by Hemanti Sarkar. The dialog team consisted of Krishna Hariharan, Gauri Shinde and Kausar Munir. Laxman Utekar was the cinematographer of the film, and Rupin Suchak was the film's production designer. Did these crew members previously worked with the director? If so, then what factors influenced her decision to hire them again in her next film? While we're at it please provide wikilinks to editing, cinematographer and production designer.

Done, except for "If so, then what factors influenced her decision to hire them again in her next film?" because there is no source about it.

Filming and post-production

Wikilink for Principal photography~~ing~~.

Not done Already linked in lead.

Critical reception

This section borders in WP:QUOTEFARM, so convert some of the quotations here into prose. The positive reviews of the India section could also use a trimming. Just remove the reviews from Rediff.com, Wion Tv and NDTV; print reviews are more encouraged.

Done for "Just remove the reviews from Rediff.com, Wion Tv and NDTV; print reviews are more encouraged." but Not done for "This section borders in WP:QUOTEFARM, so convert some of the quotations here into prose. The positive reviews of the India section could also use a trimming." Please illustrate an example how to covert quotations into prose.

Instead of quoting directly from the source, you must interpret in your own words the critics' reaction to the film. Blue sphere 13:23, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

And that's it. I'll put this one on hold as you fix these concerns I raised. In case you have questions, you don't need to ping me; I have put this review page into my watchlist. Good luck. Blue sphere 14:20, 16 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments are welcome. Mr. Smart LION 10:55, 17 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

See above

All issues fixed. Mr. Smart LION 08:49, 18 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

No you haven't, there's still one concern unresolved. I said provide sources to all the names in the Cast section; and why are the names of the actors added in the Plot section? Please remove them. Blue sphere 09:24, 18 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

All names in the "Cast" section are listed in the fourth source. Open the link and check out the names. So all names in the "Cast" section are sourced. And as for the names of the actors added in the "Plot" section, please see good articles at Portal:Bollywood. Scroll down the page and check out the good articles. All GA articles have actors names in the "Plot" section. Mr. Smart LION 15:17, 18 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

~~It appears that I am not making myself clear. Have a look at the article The Hunted (1995 film) so that you would understand what I want you to do with the Cast section.~~ On second thought, the concerns are rather addressed. There you go, Passed

Blue sphere 15:27, 18 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]