Talk:Diamond Crowned Queen/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Changedforbetter (talk · contribs) 19:46, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'm well over due performing an article review anyway and I'm a little rusty for sure, but I'll be happy to give this a go! Since I am working full time again it might take me a little longer to complete, but I'll definitely be done within a matter of days since this is a relatively short article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:46, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you!Take as much as time as you need as there is no rush on this. I wrote this in an afternoon so I admit that a lot of the wording could possibly be improved so I am looking forward to your comments. Aoba47 (talk) 21:12, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

An afternoon, eh? Wow that's impressive, an article of this quality would take me like a month at most aha.--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:26, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"'Diamond Crowned Queen' is a song recorded by..." this is somewhat of a nit pick, but I've always found it kind of unnecessary when articles explicitly state that the song is recorded by [Artist]; simply removing "recorded" should be sufficient to indicate that the song is recorded by the artist, especially since the artist co-wrote the song as well, if that makes sense.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:50, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 21:12, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I personally think "released on May..." sounds better, but it's at your discretion.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:53, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 21:12, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Again, this is just a personal opinion, but I think "closely after he was crowned winner of the third season..." sounds remotely better than its current phrasing.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 21:12, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

You could try "Critical response to 'Diamond Crowned Queen' has been mixed; its composition divided music critics."

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 21:12, 17 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Raja released her debut single" you're clearly more of an expert on this subject than I am; go through and check for any inconsistencies when using gender pronouns to refer to Raja throughout the article?--Changedforbetter (talk) 13:47, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Oops, I thought that I caught everything. I have revised it. Aoba47 (talk) 14:32, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Just from quickly glancing through the Reception section which is actually very good, I noticed a trend that, despite mixed reviews, critics generally agree that the song is one of the better to come out of the reality series, would you agree with this observation? Just a suggestion, but this might actually be worth mentioning in the lead because it would help summarize the section even more as well as help verify the song's notability if anyone questions it. Something like "; although its composition divided music critics, commentators generally agreed that the song is one of the better/best tracks released by a Ru Paul's drag race alumni..." or something, but make it sound a little...sexier, for lack of better word. Refined, I mean lol.--

That actually makes sense to me. I have revised it using your wording. I actually didn't notice that until you pointed it out lol, but it makes perfect sense. Thank you for pointing this out to me. Aoba47 (talk) 20:19, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Changedforbetter (talk) 18:57, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Annnndddd that's pretty much it for me, I think. Once the above comment about the best Ru Paul song is addressed, pretty sure I can go ahead and pass this :) the Reception and Promotion section is flawless, so yeah :-)--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:21, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Changedforbetter: Thank you for your comments/review. I have addressed your above comments. Aoba47 (talk) 20:19, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sweet, it's a ✓ Pass (no surprise there though XD). Great work, as usual! I'll let the bots take it from here.--Changedforbetter (talk) 23:43, 18 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]