Talk:Dissimulation (KSI album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:06, 22 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

This has been in the queue nearly two months, therefore it definitely needs to be taken on! --K. Peake 07:06, 22 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

Neither of the genres are sourced in the body; remember, hip hop features does not source the album itself as being the genre
See Template:Infobox album to understand that you only list those credited as record producers, not noting execs
"and a deluxe edition of the album was released" → "and a deluxe edition was issued"
The guest appearances read too much like a supermarket list; only mention the most notable ones i.e those on the hit singles and add "among others" at the end
Wikilink S-X instead
"The deluxe edition of the album features further guest appearances from" → "The deluxe edition features further appearances from"
"as the album's lead single and it" → "as its lead single and the song"
"as the fourth single from the album and" → "as the fourth single and"
"Following the release of Dissimulation," → "Following the release of the album,"
"was released as the album's fifth single" → "was released as its fifth and final single"
"It had previously peaked at" → "The song peaked at" since the previous part is not needed because its a peak, not a debut
"from music critics. Many critics praised" → "from music critics, who often praised" with the pipe
"and commended the album's credibility," → "Some commended the credibility," as a new sentence
The sentence about critics concluding should be removed, as the first quote is only mentioned by two reviewers and the second by one
"Dissimulation debuted at number two" → "The album debuted at number two"
"and it further entered the albums charts of" → "and also charted in"
Mention a few countries that the 16 is including
"Dissimulation was the UK's highest-selling debut album by a British artist" → "It was the highest-selling debut album by a British artist in the United Kingdom"
"The album has been" → "Dissimulation has since been"
"gold by the" → "gold in the UK by the"
Remove the part of the sentence after BPI since exact certified units aren't notable for the lead

Background and recording

Merge with the below section and retitle to Background and conception, as one para sections are discouraged
"in the US and" → "in the [United States] and" per MOS:US, plus shouldn't you mention KSI's quote about them seeing his vision and believing in him?
"that RBC Records and BMG" → "that RBC and BMG"
"reissuing KSI's independent catalogue" → "reissuing the rapper's catalogue"
Mention that KSI's manager Mams Taylor also partnered with the labels and demonstrate part of the quote
"That day, it was" → "The same day as the announcement, it was"
Remove pipe on studio album
Add a citation for KSI's confirmation of recording completion
Are you sure there is not more info to add for background?

Concept

Make this the second para of the above section
"about the album in February 2020, KSI "explained that the album is split" → "about Dissumulation in February 2020, KSI explained that the album is "split"
"He said, "there's KSI and" → "He said that there's "KSI and"
Put parts of the Metro quote into your own words per WP:QUOTEFARM
"Regarding the title of the album, KSI said, "I felt" → "Regarding the title Dissimulation, KSI said he "felt"
[3] should solely be at the end of the para due to being used for the last two quotes

Music and lyrics

Are you sure you can't add any genres with source(s)?
Kitty Empire is actually of The Observer; you can see this in the left column
The term "highlighted" is not correct here since it lacks neutrality; use something like "noted" instead
"and featured British rappers," → "and featured British artists," since this is what the source actually indicates
The first para is too small, so merge it with the second
You should definitely try to add some info about the album's actual music like influences, elements, style, etc.
Remove or replace Metro per WP:METRO
"The album's opening song," → "The opening song,"
"describing it as "a boastful track hitting out" → "also calling it this type of track and noting KSI "hit[s] out" to avoid repetitive wording
"""What You Been On" is a" → ""What You Been On is a" per the source
"is said to be" → "was said to be"
"and talks about "how he always bounces" → "and talks about him "always bounc[ing]" to be less quote heavy
"is said to be" → "was seen as" but put parts of this quote into your own words to avoid overquoting
"KSI told Music Week, ""Domain" is" → "KSI told Music Week, "Domain is"
"remain triumphant, even as the underdog"." → "remain triumphant", even when he is "the underdog"." for fixing the source's grammar
""we see an intimate side of KSI" → ""[w]e see an intimate side of [KSI]" per paraphrasing of the source
Only keep the HITC source in the second sentence
"with the hook of the song explaining" → "with the hook [...] explaining"
"is said to address" → "has been interpreted as addressing"
"his younger brother, Deji Olatunji, and" → "his younger brother Deji Olatunji, while"
""address his relationship" → ""address [his] relationship"
"is said to be" → "was said to be"
"is said to be" → "has been described as"

Release

Merge with the below section and retitle to Release and promotion since one para is not sufficient
Remove wikilink on YouTube
"alongside the release of a promotional video trailer for the album." → "alongside an accompanying promotional video trailer."
"That day, the album was made available to" → "That same day, Dissimulation was made available for" but none of this sentence is sourced
"Two days before the album's release," → "Two days before its release,"
Neither of the last two sentences of this para are sourced
"and CD on" → "and experienced a CD release on"

Promotion

Make this info start a para below the release info in the proposed above section
Remove singles sub-section since this was a large enough proportion of the promotion to be part of the general section
Nowhere in the source is "Down Like That" said to be a single
The source only mentions Rick Ross performing "Down Like That", though it is correct that the others joined in so add a source for that
Add a source for the video synopsis
"where it has been" → "where the song has been"
The chart positions besides UK are not sourced, plus the song article shows it also charted in Estonia, Latvia and Scotland
"as the album's second single on" → "as the second single from Dissimulation on" but the release date is not sourced, nor is the video
"all dressed in" → "all of whom are dressed in"
Remove obvious wikilink on costume
"in the United Kingdom[19] and it also" → "in the UK,[19] while it also"
The positions past UK are unsourced plus you offered no mention of Scotland or Estonia
Merge the second para with the third one per lack of proper size for either
No single release is sourced for "Poppin'", nor is the video synopsis
"of the United Kingdom" → "of the UK" but these need sourcing, plus mention it also charted in Scotland
Swarmz and Tion Wayne should be introduced as British rappers rather than artists
"as the album's fourth single on" → "as the fourth single from Dissimulation on" but this sentence is unsourced
The video sentence is not sourced either
"in the United Kingdom," → "in the UK"
The certification is not sourced nor is the Irish chart position, plus mention it charting in Estonia and Scotland too and you needn't write out exact positions past UK
Merge the last para with the above one per my earlier comment about size
"was released as a single on" → "was released as the album's fifth single on"
The video synopsis is unsourced
Remove pipe on criminals
"in the United Kingdom and it also reached the singles chart of" → "in the UK and it also charted in" but Ireland is not sourced

Other songs

This can remain as a sub-section since it is not the majority of promotion
The video synopsis is unsourced
Remove obvious wikilink on candle
"in the United Kingdom" → "in the UK"
The singles charts outside of UK are not sourced
Merge the second para with the first one, plus the video's release is not sourced and can you add synopsis info?

Critical reception

Remove or replace DriveTribe per WP:SELFPUB
Italicise RapReviews
Remove pipe on Clash in prose
"weight features, some might" → "weight features", some listeners "might" per the source's quote
"positively concluded that "for" → "positively concluded: "For"
"excellent body of work"," → "excellent body of work."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
Remove all ratings from pose, as they are displayed in the reviews box on the side
"Kitty Empire of The Guardian recognised that" → "Empire recognised that"
"wrote that KSI has done" → "wrote KSI has done"
""cemented him his place as" → ""[cemented his] place as"
""the growth on Dissimulation is" → ""the growth on [the album] is" to avoid writing the title too much
Put parts of the Inlander review into your own words per WP:QUOTEFARM
"a new degree, showcasing his" → "a new degree", which showcases "his"
Write out comments from the PeanutButterPope review in prose to be neutral since every current review is positive

Commercial performance

"In the United Kingdom," → "In the UK,"
"out of which 6,340 came from" → "6,340 of which came from"
Remove pipe on digital downloads
"19,332 came from" → "while 19,332 were from"
Remove pipe on streaming-equivalent sales
Remove pipe on CDs
"The album spent a total" → "It spent a total"
Remove pipe on certified
"by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) for" → "by the BPI for"
Remove wikilink on Music Week
"have been sold" → "had been sold"
In the 11 other countries sentence, add each country's source directly after they are mentioned
"Sweden, and Switzerland." → "Sweden and Switzerland." per British English
Shouldn't the New Zealand chart come before Australia per chart positions and they are the same continent?
Remove or replace Forbes per WP:RSP

Track listing

Shouldn't any songwriters who are also credited by real names in producers afterwards have only their surnames included there?

Credits and personnel

Good

Charts

Good

Certifications

Good

Release history

Label → Label(s)
Digital download and streaming for standard are not backed up by the ref, nor is CD release for the deluxe

References

Copyvio score looks dangerously high at 52.2%; this can be fixed by fixing overquoting

Final comments and verdict

I was about to look through the layout of references, but instead I am going to go ahead and unfortunately ✗ Fail this article already. The reasoning behind this is because it is simply too far from meeting the GA criteria; the prose is sloppy, there is too much original research, unreliable sources are used throughout and overquoting is an issue prevalent enough to bring the copyvio score to more than 10% above the allowed level. If this article is re-nominated at a later point in the time once it has been improved significantly, I may review again. --K. Peake 08:11, 24 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]