Talk:Duckport Canal/GA1
GA Review
[edit]| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 10:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
I'll take a gander at this one. Zawed (talk) 10:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- Order built in Major General Ulysses S. Grant...: looks to be some typos here. Suggest: "Ordered built by Major General Ulysses S. Grant..."
- Fixed the typo at the beginning, and added the intended date which was ommitted
- Several dates are mentioned in the lead, but it is never established what year.
- See above, should be addressed now
Background
[edit]- Mississippi River to closer to...: typo here, presumably "Mississippi River closer to..." is meant.
- The current phrasing works in AmEng, but changed
- Work on the old Grant's Canal resumed in January,...: as it is already established that we are in January, you could just say " Work on the old Grant's Canal resumed later in the month,..."
- Went with something similar
- The Lake Providence canal was delayed by flooding...: to avoid close repetition of "The Lake Providence canal", suggest just "This canal was delayed by flooding was delayed by flooding..."
- Done
Canal
[edit]- The end of the previous section already establishes that the Steele's Bayou/Yazoo Pass expeditions fail. The first sentence of the Canal section could probably start at "Grant decided..."
- Done
More to come. Zawed (talk) 10:02, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
Continuing with the Canal section:
- Suggesting breaking the first paragraph at "Historian Donald L. Miller..."
- Done
- The soldiers began the journey to the canal site...: presumably you mean this on a daily basis? Also, the sentence uses "began", suggest rephrasing to avoid this.
- I've attempted to rephrase this
- Arg, I missed out a word in this comment! I meant to say the sentence uses "began" twice but your change resolves that anyway. Zawed (talk) 09:45, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
- I've attempted to rephrase this
Aftermath
[edit]- On April 30, Grant had landed troops...: is that "By April 30" or if is "On April 30", the "had" should be deleted.
- Removed "had"
Other stuff
[edit]- Image tag is OK
- Dupe links: Mississippi River linked twice in the lead.
- Done
That's about it for me. Zawed (talk) 10:42, 22 June 2022 (UTC)
- @Zawed: - Thanks for the review! Everything brought up so far should be addressed. Hog Farm Talk 13:43, 22 June 2022 (UTC)
- @Hog Farm: Hope the missing word in one of my comments above didn't throw you too much! Anyway, that was resolved regardless and this looks all good. Am passing as GA now as I believe it meets the necessary criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)