Talk:Ellis Paul/Archive 1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sound samples

Sound sample boxes were added. Kmzundel 13:56, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Songwriting section forthcoming

I plan to add a section to the article that talks about Paul's songwriting style. Would also like to include information about his live performances (as opposed to the studio recordings) and his interaction with fans. Kmzundel 02:44, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

Added Songwriting section. Kmzundel 04:15, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

Album cover

Under the terms of fair use, we can use album cover images to illustrate the related album article - but nothing else. I've removed the album cover from this article for that reason. Rklawton 18:41, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

New Hampshire

The sentence referencing the New Hampshire could probably use some elaboration. Readers not familiar with the American presidential nomination process may not understand the allusion. Rklawton 02:14, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

Understood. Will edit. Kmzundel 03:19, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

Suggestions

Per Kumzdel's kind request I offer some further suggestions for the improvement of the article:

  • "Ellis Paul draws a picture with his words then draws you into the world he's painting." Repetitive prose.
I have noted that that is a quote. Kmzundel
  • Don't leave a gap between the punctuation mark and the inline citation.
Done.Kmzundel
  • "which are sometimes considered a pinnacle of contemporary acoustic music success." I don't understand the utility of "sometimes" there? Sometimes they are considered and sometimes not? Ambiguous.
Removed "sometimes". Kmzundel
  • Try to have at least one citation for each paragraph. Two paragraphs in "Early career: 1987-1990" are uncited.
Will add citations.Kmzundel
Sources added. Kmzundel 10:40, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
  • "Awards and Recognition" could be maybe be turrned in prose with a selection of the most important of these awards, but this may well be a personal preference. You could wait for the GAC reviewer to express his opinion.
Have shortened the list to include only the major awards. Will await reviewers' feedback. Kmzundel

The article is obviously improved. I suggest you take a close look for minor prose deficiencies throughout the article. I hope good luch with GAC.--Yannismarou 20:33, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Thank you again for your feedback! Kmzundel 23:13, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
  • There are at least 3 different origin/birthplaces listed. Are there 3 Ellis Pauls?

GA on hold

Some things that stop this getting GA

  • There is lots of white space between sections, remove it.
Completed. Kmzundel 12:47, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • References come after punctuation with no space, example . [15] should be .[15]
Completed. Kmzundel 12:47, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Avoid using contractions like (outside of quotations): wasn't. spell it out, was not
Completed. Kmzundel 12:47, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
Completed. Kmzundel 13:05, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • please crop the image Image:2005EPpostcard highres.jpg
Completed. Kmzundel 13:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Current career, is not a good title as it wont be 'current' in a few years
I believe leaving the year open-ended covers its currentness(2000 to present) and have modeled the bio sections after Wiki featured articles such as Alison Krauss. Kmzundel 12:53, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • With Discography, only wikilink the label on its first mention, also if you want to improve the article create articles on his CD's (not req'd for GA)
Completed. Kmzundel 13:05, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Movies, Television, Video, has external links in the text. You could also convert it from a list into prose(paragraph or two of writing) that will help improve the quality and mention if he has said anything about his TV appearances.
Have moved the external links to "Further reading/listening" section. Kmzundel 13:05, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • In 2004, Ellis Paul won his 13th Boston Music Award. This particular award was in the category of Outstanding Singer/Songwriter. could be converted into one sentence, also wiki-link Boston music award
Completed. Kmzundel 12:47, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
Boston Music Award linked in lead paragraph. Kmzundel 13:25, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • 4-hour - spell out words less then ten
Completed. Kmzundel 12:47, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

M3tal H3ad 05:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

Removed lyrics. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Some references still have spaces after punctuation
Completed. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 3000 Miles, use 3000 Miles, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 3000 Miles.[?]
Fixed. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • as the long-awaited and much-anticipated - peackock term
Removed peacock term. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • the hardest working folk musicians on the circuit- above
Removed. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Well-known - above, refer to WP:PEACOCK for more examples
Removed. Kmzundel 17:50, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Mark Erelli.In - spacing
Fixed. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
Linked. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • You refer to him as Paul most of the time (which is correct) then use his full-name later on, keep it constant, use Paul.
Corrected. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Movies, television, video, is this his appearances?, make it clear
Removed the "movies, television, video" section, incorporating the information not already mentioned into prose. Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
  • Try get a reference for each paragraph, makes the article as a whole very well referenced.

I think that's it,I got this page watch listed so just reply here. I'm going to bed now so don't expect a reply for awhile :p. M3tal H3ad 13:38, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

Added one reference. Looks to me like there's at least one reference now in each paragraph.Kmzundel 17:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
Added another reference - the Ribbon of Highway website as source Kmzundel 17:47, 25 January 2007 (UTC)
Added content with reference to Ribbon of Highway tour description. Kmzundel 19:40, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

Looks good to me, good job. M3tal H3ad 02:15, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks so much for your feedback and support! Kmzundel 02:51, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

Nice article

The first couple of sentences are confusing the first time you read them, what with Paul being his first name and last name. Guess that's to be expected though given the situation. Marcus Taylor 04:18, 22 May 2007 (UTC)

Comparison with other musicians

The introductory paragraph contains this statement:

While remaining among the most pop-friendly of today's singer-songwriters with songs that have appeared in movies and on television, Paul has bridged the gulf between the modern folk sound and the populist traditions of Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger more successfully than many of his songwriting peers.

The last statment is a statement of opinion, not fact, and therefore cannot be proven. Moreover the authority for it is the artist's own website, from which it is taken nearly verbatim.[1] It therefore represents a point of view and probably should go, unless sourced to an independent critic. (It would look strange to modify the clause to add: according to the musician's own website.) It detracts from an otherwise excellent article. Kablammo 12:04, 22 May 2007 (UTC)

Agreed. The paragraph makes it look like "Today's Featured Advertisement". The-bus 16:35, 22 May 2007 (UTC)

  • Thanks for the constructive comments. Edits have made it a better paragraph. Kmzundel 16:39, 25 May 2007 (UTC)

Criticism?

This is a good article, but perhaps a little section including highlights of critical reviews would have been helpful. The article makes it sound like Paul can do no wrong - what do his critics say? Applejuicefool 15:21, 22 May 2007 (UTC)

If there is some criticism don't put it in some stand alone section. This is an encyclopedia, you never see that kind of stuff in Britannica. Put it in sections chronologically. Marcus Taylor 11:25, 26 May 2007 (UTC)
I agree....and I think I did just that when I said "Although Paul knew that the end result would fall outside the comfort zone of some fans who expected another acoustic folk album, experimenting with Flynn's musical chemistry set injected excitement and fun into the recording project" in the section describing fans' reaction to American Jukebox Fables. I would NOT say that statement indicates that "Paul can do no wrong". It's been my experience, in the folk music world anyway, that reviews tend to be more positive than negative. Kmzundel 14:14, 26 May 2007 (UTC)

Assessment comment

The comment(s) below were originally left at Talk:Ellis Paul/Comments, and are posted here for posterity. Following several discussions in past years, these subpages are now deprecated. The comments may be irrelevant or outdated; if so, please feel free to remove this section.

The prose is broken up more then I'd like, and the article's pretty quote-heavy. Try and combine some paragraphs together and get it to flow better. Looks goo dso far though. --Wizardman 17:26, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
The article is indeed quote-heavy, and I also see many one-sentence paragraphs. I think the B-Class rating is correct, because of the amount of infos that the article contains, and of the quite good level of referencing. I can't go higher than B, because the article has not gone through a GAC review.--Yannismarou 18:22, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
Thanks to you both. Will edit accordingly. Kmzundel 18:55, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
Per your comments, incorporated many of the quotes into the prose and combined paragraphs. Not done by any means, but making progress. Kmzundel 02:47, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

Last edited at 02:47, 11 January 2007 (UTC). Substituted at 14:44, 1 May 2016 (UTC)

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Ellis_Paul/Archive_1&oldid=1088832654"