Talk:Endure and Survive/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Bilorv (talk · contribs) 17:50, 28 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll take this one. — Bilorv (talk) 17:50, 28 August 2023 (UTC)
Overall
[edit]This is an excellently written article and I'm happy that it is broad, neutral, stable and illustrated (with an appropriate fair use rationale). I've just got a question about a couple of sources and then some nitpicks in the prose. But the structure is great, it's clear to a reader with no background knowledge and the trickiest part of an episode article—"Reception"—is organized well with topic sentences and comments sorted by theme.
Referencing
[edit]I'm familiar with most sources or have convinced myself that they are reliable. What makes these sources reliable: The Daily Moth, Geek Culture?
Spotchecks (numbering as of Special:Permalink/1171952616): #3, #27, #32, #38, #43, #50, #51, #53, #57, #67. No issues found.
Copyedits
[edit]Plot
[edit]- "who they convince to help them escape" – Reads a bit clunkily with "who", "they" and "them". It could be "who agree to help them escape".
- "she shortly arrives" – I think this has to be "she arrives shortly" (or "she soon arrives").
Production
[edit]- "was assigned to direct for the series" – Can be made more concise e.g. "would direct for the series".
- Johnson's casting sentence could maybe be cut down: "..., departed for the set by Saturday and began filming by the following Wednesday".
- "noting it had impacted him when playing" – I'm a bit lost. The character had impacted the actor when playing the video game? (In what way?)
- "Johnson found the scene" – The suicide scene?
- "tried to be as present as authentic as possible" – The middle "as" should be an "and".
- "Johnson considered Henry's final decision was to join his brother" – I think "considered" doesn't fit here; it could be "said"/"believed".
- "Mazin found Kathleen being killed by a child important" – "being killed" is a strange tense. Maybe "Mazin found it important that Kathleen was killed by a child".
- Maybe add "(ADR)" in parentheticals after "automated dialogue replacement", as some readers (me!) may only be familiar with it through its abbreviation.
- "and considered it selfless" – Not clear who considered it selfless (Pierce or Perry).
... found his death was an honorable "samurai death" sacrificing himself for the woman he loves
– May read better as... saw his death as an honorable "samurai death", where he sacrificed himself for the woman he loves
.- "was completely built" – "was built" would convey the same information.
- House by the Railroad could get a year in parentheticals.
- I think "40 kilograms" should be "40-kilogram".
The team wanted the creature to have a "practical presence"
– Who is this quoting?- "Mazin wrote the bloater tore Perry in two" – Doesn't read right to me with a "that" ("Mazin wrote that ...")
Reception
[edit]- Since it's just a weekly online article, I think linking honorable mention is a bit much (I don't think a dictionary definition is needed instead as most readers will understand it in context).
- "Rabab Khan wrote the cinematography captured" – Think you need a "that".
- "Aaron Bayne similarly felt ..." – Similar to which critic?
Lead and other
[edit]- "post-apocalyptic drama" is a sea of blue: I think most readers understand "drama" in context so maybe that link could be removed.
introduced "bloaters" ... the costume
– I was confused as to whether there was one or many bloaters in the episode before I got to "Production". Perhapsintroduced the first "bloater"
and use singular consistently (even though, I assume, there are more in either the series or the video game).- (Also in "Plot".) Henry and Sam are linked to List of The Last of Us characters rather than List of The Last of Us (TV series) characters, and I think only the first named should be linked while these are links to the same section, "Harry and Sam".
- A cul-de-sac is mentioned in the infobox caption but nowhere else—perhaps it should be mentioned in "Plot"?
- (Not part of the GA criteria.) The images in the body should have alt text.
Thanks! — Bilorv (talk) 20:20, 28 August 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review and kind words, Bilorv! I've gone through and addressed your concerns. Regarding The Daily Moth and Geek Culture: since they're both interviews with the relevant subjects (Woodard and Pierce, respectively), I believe they're considered primary sources and acceptable for citing straightforward information, which I believe is the case here. Please let me know if you have any other comments or concerns. – Rhain ☔ (he/him) 02:38, 29 August 2023 (UTC)
- Excellent, I'm happy that all of my comments have been addressed and this is a
pass for GA. Thanks for the quick response! — Bilorv (talk) 15:20, 29 August 2023 (UTC)
- Excellent, I'm happy that all of my comments have been addressed and this is a