Talk:Equestria/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 17:51, 21 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article is a long way from GA status. The following problems will have to be addressed before it is ready to be promoted:

The article is almost entirely concerned with in-universe content; specifically, the history and geography of the world. This should be only a relatively small part of the article. Ideally, the majority of the article will be given over to real-world information, such as the design process, academic analysis, critical response, and the influence that the world has had. Writing about fictional content can be difficult, but you could take a look at the three categories for fictional characters on the featured article list for models. Take a look, for example, at Troy McClure. There is in-universe information, certainly, but by no means is it the whole article! Now, editing the article to get the balance right is going to mean cutting out a lot of the information, such as the list of locations that have been mentioned once in the show.
Sometimes, you adopt an in-universe perspective. Examples:
- "Many years later, the royal sisters".
You do have some out-of-universe material in the lead, but this is problematic in itself; the lead should summarise what is in the article, and should not contain material that is not found elsewhere!
There is a large amount of editorialising (which appears to introduce a non-neutral point of view into the article), weasel words, and apparent original research. This will all need to be removed. Some examples:
- "Keeping in mind, that Equestria is not on planet Earth, ... it is assumed that this is just simply, English, under a different name."
- "It is presumed to be a federal constitutional principality"
- "the Equestrian equivalent to the Christian holiday, Christmas and the Jewish holiday, Hanukkah"
- "many modeled or based after cities in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada."
- "Unknown what the city is based on"
Something else to think on, but perhaps not as big an issue as the above: A lot of the writing could be much improved. There is some very odd comma use, lots of unwarranted capitalisation (section titles should be in "Sentence case", not "Title Case"), there's an inconsistency in how you refer to "Wendigos", and so on.

Based on these worries, I suggest that the article is a long way from meeting the good article criteria, and so I am closing the review at this time. Josh Milburn (talk) 17:51, 21 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

You will find detailed help on writing about fiction at Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Writing about fiction. Josh Milburn (talk) 17:55, 21 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]