Talk:Francis B. Wai/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Skinny87 (talk) 18:59, 18 December 2009 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- Wikilink 'Captain' in lede
- a (prose):
- Done --Kumioko (talk) 03:08, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
- 'However after an extensive review, in 2000, his medal was upgraded to the Medal of Honor.' - Don't need the first comma.
- Done --Kumioko (talk) 03:08, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
- 'where he led an amphibious assault on a Japanese pillbox in which he was subsequently killed.' - One doesn't lead an amphibious assault, and this needs to be rewritten. Did you mean that he took part in an amphibious assault, during which he led an attack on a pillbox and was killed in the process? Despite the MoH citation there below, rewriting and adding context is vital for the reader.
- Done - I completely rewrote the section and expanded the content. --Kumioko (talk) 03:35, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- 'While at UCLA, he was a four sport athlete' - What were these four?
- a (references):
- Done - I could only find mention of 3 of them. --Kumioko (talk) 02:00, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
- Last section of second para of Biograpphy is uncited, needs a cite to pass.
- Done --Kumioko (talk) 02:00, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
- Suggest restructuring article - divide it into 'Early life', 'WWII service and death' and then integrate the MoH/DsC section into it.
- Done - I restructured it a little different than sugested but I think it meets the request.--Kumioko (talk) 03:08, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- In addition to the items listed above I did a number of other things to improve the article including the following.
- I added more refs, deleted some weak or broken ones, added some inline citations and cleaned up some.
- I restructured the awards section.
- I added more content, fixed some prose and reworded a few things.
- I added alt text. --Kumioko (talk) 02:00, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
- In addition to the items listed above I did a number of other things to improve the article including the following.
Note: The original reviewer, Skinny, was reported as sick, and the first editor reportedly has left wikipedia. Kumioko, who contributed to the article, made changes per Skinny's review. I have reviewed the changes, made some grammatical and punctuation fixes, etc., and passed the article. Auntieruth55 (talk) 23:41, 17 January 2010 (UTC)