Talk:George Washington/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Nikkimaria (talk) 18:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'll be reviewing this article for possible GA status. My review should be posted shortly. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 18:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately, I feel that this article is not a GA at this time. I encourage contributors to consider my suggestions and renominate once they have been addressed. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 22:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Writing and formatting

"funding the national debt" -> "paying off the national debt"? Done
"Washington avoided the temptation of war and a decade of peace with Britain began with the Jay Treaty in 1795" - grammar Done
George was 14 years younger than his oldest half-brother, which was not unusual enough at the time to qualify as "very much younger" Done
"17-year old" -> "17-year-old" Done
mdashes should not be spaced
What is "Belvoir", and why is it italicized? Done
"which historians defined" - which historians? When did they define it? Is the definition still used? Done
Avoid linking the same term more than once in article text
Check hyphen and dash use - a number of minor errors
There are a number of run-on sentences that could be amended
"Washington was appointed a district adjutant general in the Virginia militia in 1752,[10] which appointed him Major Washington at the age of 20" - awkward wording Done
Be sure to distinguish between French and French Canadian - which group developed Ohio country, and which had military strength on the frontier? Done
Given the locale, could remove (Seven Years War)
"Ohio country" or "Ohio Country"? Done
Avoid very short paragraphs (fewer than three sentences) and one-paragraph subsections where possible
Were commissions appointed or bought?
Were the officers recruited in England or Britain in 1756? Done
When did he have smallpox? Done
" Washington had the prestige, the military experience, the charisma and military bearing, the reputation of being a strong patriot, and the South, especially Virginia, supported him" - awkward phrasing, seems a bit out of context Done
"depart their forts" -> "leave their forts" or "depart from their forts" Done
"Lear would record" -> "Lear later recorded" Done
[American Revolution]] is linked in article text and should thus not be included in See also Done
Biographies should come before External links Done
Some of the categories overlap Done

Accuracy and verifiability

Recommend a bare minimum of one citation per paragraph, usually more
Citations needed for:

Washington's report on the affair was widely read on both sides of the Atlantic.
Surviving letters suggest that he may have been in love at the time with Sally Fairfax, the wife of a friend. Some historians believe George and Martha were distantly related.
his earlier bout with smallpox (possibly followed by tuberculosis) may have made him sterile Done
Washington lived an aristocratic lifestyle
"an Invasion of our Rights and Privileges"
Although he did not explicitly seek the office of commander and even claimed that he was not equal to it
Washington's refusal to become involved in politics buttressed his reputation as a man fully committed to the military mission at hand and above the factional fray
which left the future of the Continental Army in doubt
2,500 men of the 10,000-strong force died from disease and exposure. The next spring, however, the army emerged from Valley Forge in good order, thanks in part to a full-scale training program supervised by Baron von Steuben, a veteran of the Prussian general staff
a decisive scorched earth campaign that destroyed at least forty Iroquois villages throughout present-day central and upstate New York in retaliation for Iroquois and Tory attacks against American settlements earlier in the war
emulating the Roman general Cincinnatus. He was an exemplar of the republican ideal of citizen leadership who rejected power.
his high prestige maintained collegiality and kept the delegates at their labors. The delegates designed the presidency with Washington in mind, and allowed him to define the office once elected. After the Convention, his support convinced many, including the Virginia legislature, to vote for ratification
The 1st United States Congress voted to pay Washington a salary of $25,000 a year
Washington, already wealthy, declined the salary, since he valued his image as a selfless public servant. At the urging of Congress, however, he ultimately accepted the payment, to avoid setting a precedent whereby the presidency would be perceived as limited only to independently wealthy individuals who could serve without any salary. Washington attended carefully to the pomp and ceremony of office, making sure that the titles and trappings were suitably republican and never emulated European royal courts. To that end, he preferred the title "Mr. President" to the more majestic names suggested.
Washington proved an able administrator. An excellent delegator and judge of talent and character
Washington was not a member of any political party and hoped that they would not be formed, fearing conflict and stagnation Done
There was no fighting, but Washington's forceful action proved the new government could protect itself. It also was one of only two times that a sitting President would personally command the military in the field. These events marked the first time under the new constitution that the federal government used strong military force to exert authority over the states and citizens
Washington rejected this interference in domestic affairs, demanded the French government recall Genêt, and denounced his societies.
Washington and Hamilton, however, mobilized public opinion and won ratification by the Senate by emphasizing Washington's support.
This angered the French and became a central issue in political debates.
He counseled friendship and commerce with all nations, but warned against involvement in European wars and entering into long-term "entangling" alliances. The address quickly set American values regarding religion and foreign affairs.
Washington returned to Mount Vernon with a profound sense of relief
Lear would record the account in his journal, writing that Washington's last words were "'Tis well."
Lee's words set the standard by which Washington's overwhelming reputation was impressed upon the American memory. Washington set many precedents for the national government and the presidency in particular.
he wished "to get quit of negroes". Done
Washington argued (privately) that his presence in Pennsylvania was solely a consequence of Philadelphia's being the temporary seat of the federal government, and that the state law should not apply to him
This rotation was itself a violation of the Pennsylvania law, but the President's actions were not challenged.
Throughout his life, he spoke of the value of righteousness, and of seeking and offering thanks for the "blessings of Heaven."
Historians and biographers continue to debate the degree to which he can be counted as a Christian, and the degree to which he was a deist.
In 1790, he wrote a response to a letter from the Touro Synagogue, in which he said that as long as people remain good citizens, they do not have to fear persecution for having differing beliefs or faiths. This was a relief to the Jewish community of the United States, since the Jews had been either expelled or discriminated against in many European countries....the Government of the United States ... gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance. ... May the children of the Stock of Abraham, who dwell in this land, continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other Inhabitants; while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and figtree, and there shall be none to make him afraid. May the father of all mercies scatter light and not darkness in our paths, and make us all in our several vocations useful here, and in his own due time and way everlastingly happy. Done (This statement is no longer in the article; I checked.) Oriolesfan8 (talk) 18:03, 2 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
he laid the cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol wearing full Masonic Grand Master regalia. Done

See here for dead links and redirects Done
Consider splitting notes from references
Reference formatting should be consistent
All books and websites need publisher information. Books in footnotes should also include page numbers; all journal articles need page numbers
Books used as references should not be mixed in with those that are not - maybe create a Bibliography section separate from Biography?
Don't use bare URLs Done
Avoid using tertiary sources
About.com and infidels.org are not generally considered reliable sources Done
Some of the annotations in Biographies are helpful, but others (like "explore leadership style") are not - consider reviewing and revising
Someone needs to change the statement about him being preceded by 14 "Forgotten Presidents" in the opening paragraph Done —Preceding unsigned comment added by 70.90.212.225 (talk) 15:33, 16 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Broad

Given the length of the article, some of the peripheral material could be cut. For example: "The growth of tobacco as a commodity in Virginia could be measured by the number of slaves imported to cultivate it. When Washington was born, the population of the colony was 50 percent black, mostly people enslaved in the African diaspora" - background, but not really necessary in this article, and certainly not directly relevant where it is Done

Neutrality

The lead seems to be writing in a biased, non-encyclopedic tone and should be revised for neutrality Done
"There is even a statue of Washington in London, the capital of his enemies" - editorializing Done
See WP:W2W - certain words should be avoided or used with extreme care to avoid bias
Phrases like "Though known for his successes in the war and of his life that followed, Washington suffered many defeats before achieving victory." are empty editorializing and serve no encyclopedic purpose
The article as a whole is biased in favour of Washington, and needs to be written in a more encyclopedic tone Done

Stability

Plenty of petty vandalism resulting in a recent protection restoration, but no recent or ongoing edit-wars that I can see
As far as I can tell, the nominator has not edited this article in the past 2 years. Done Starting work on Founding Fathers and getting them to GA. Fridae'§Doom | Talk to me 05:22, 12 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Images

You say that the 1772 portrait is the earliest known, but then you say that the stamp is based on a 1751 portrait. Which is correct?
Image galleries are discouraged, and one seems misplaced in the Slavery section Done
Try to avoid stacking images, sandwiching text between images, or having images compress section headings
Cornerstone image now tagged as lacking licensing information Done
The images in the stamp gallery should all be PD-USGov Done