Talk:Golden Domes/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum (talk · contribs) 19:01, 18 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"The Golden Domes were the first buildings built specifically for that purpose". Can we not do better than "buildings built"? What about something like "buildings constructed"?

"... and were completed in 1980 and 1981". How could they have been completed in two different years? One in 1980 and the other in 1981?

"According to proponents, group practice of the TM-Sidhi program in the domes and elsewhere creates the Maharishi Effect, which is believed to be a coherence-producing field". Believed by whom? What is a "coherence-producing field"?

"... in the hope of positively influencing the country and the world." Which country?

"The domes have a capacity of 3,000 practitioners, and other nearby flying halls are also used." Also used when? Only during the assemblies? Where are they? Are they permanent flying halls? On campus?

"The Golden Domes are the center of the TM community in the US." This ought to be right at the start.

Background

"The TM-Sidhi program is an advanced form of meditation ...". In whose opinion is it an advanced form of meditation?

"A TM website said that ...". Does it not still say that? Is it a reliable source?

"... and is believed to occur when the group size exceeds the square root of one percent of the population of an area". Believed by whom?

"Nations with sufficient Yogic Flyers are said to have achieved invincibility." Is that really what the Tribune Business News said?

"While empirical studies have been published in peer-reviewed academic journals, these assertions have been disputed by most of those in the scientific and skeptic community who have written about them." What assertions?

Assemblies

"The photographs were to be sent to media outlets around the world to show the movement's popularity and given to attendees as mementos." So were they sent?

"The "Taste of Utopia" assembly took place from December 17, 1983, to January 6, 1984, and was the occasion for the Maharishi's second[38] visit to the domes." Why is the citation after "second" rather that at the end of the sentence, as is conventional?

"Also in 2006, due to the urgent need to increase the number of Yogic Flyers because of the situation in the Middle East, the fees for learning the TM-Sidhi program, normally $5,000, were underwritten for any MUM or Maharishi School students who committed to participating in group program in the domes for one year." What does "in group program" mean? And who exactly considered the need to be "urgent"?

I've only skimmed the surface here. IMO this article is not about the Golden Domes at all, but is a rather shameless fluff piece for the Maharishi University of Management and its program of Yogic Flying. Malleus Fatuorum 02:04, 20 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.