Talk:Golf Club: Wasteland/GA1
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Reviewer: Alexandra IDV (talk · contribs) 03:49, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
I will be doing this one.--AlexandraIDV 03:49, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
Images
- Images are relevant and seem to be in order. I appreciate that you wrote alt text for them!
References
- The RPS writer's name is Katharine, not Katherine.
- Fixed, thanks for the catch - I have a tendency of typing things out phonetically..
- This is not part of the GA criteria, but I believe the Unity source should have "Unity Technologies" in the publisher parameter rather than the website one, as it is not the name of a creative work.
- Done
- Looks good otherwise - RSs, and some primary sources for uncontroversial detail.
Infobox
- Milojević, Stanković, and Stepković are only mentioned in the infobox, and not backed up by any sources.
- Yeah, not sure where that came from either, replaced with just director and composer
- The iOS and Android versions are for some reason not included in the platforms field in the infobox.
- Fixed - holdover from previous version when I was not aware the mobile releases were a major thing
- "Adventure" and "Role-playing" are only mentioned in the infobox, and not backed up by any sources. As we cannot use own analysis to determine genres, you should either cite a source or remove these (and their corresponding categories).
- Removed
Lead
- The iOS and Android releases are only given as year and month, while the rest are given as year, month, and day - I would suggest being consistent
- Set all to YMD
- "the super-rich" comes across as slightly casual wording to me
- Changed to "extremely wealthy", but no idea if that's any better
Gameplay and synopsis
There are three "modes" of gameplay
- the quotation marks seem unnecessary, as if the modes were "sort of, but not quite" modes.- Removed
- We can assume that readers know what "nostalgia" means - I would remove the link.
- Removed
Development and release
- Would suggest rearranging things slightly for chronology, so that the iOS/Android release dates are mentioned along with the PC and console versions rather than as the first thing the reader learns about the development (
Golf Club: Wasteland was developed by Igor Simić [...]
also works much better as a topic sentence thanThe game was released for iOS [...]
does).- Moved the dated release info and soundtrack addition to last paragraph
In an interview with Game World Observer,
- unless what publication he was interview for is important somehow, I would just remove this bit and just focus on what he said.- Removed
- Nitpick, but
in order to
can almost always be simplified toto
.- Changed
Reception
though Ollie Reynolds of Nintendo Life noted that their reviewers found some of the neon signs [...]
- is Reynolds not the single person at NL reviewing the game? Unless I'm missing something, I believe this should be written as "though Ollie Reynolds of Nintendo Life found [...]".- The review used wording like "we", "us", and "our", though that might just be journalistic. Changed.
Loades also thought that the level design was uninspired, with the "puzzle" elements
- like with the "modes" earlier, this makes me wonder if they're "kind of but not really" puzzles - you can probably remove the quotation marks.- Removed quote marks
he wished the game doubled down on
- comes across as too casual wording- Reworded
Other
- Without any discussion in the article about games as art, the "see also" link feels like an inappropriate use of "Wikipedia's voice".
- It was previously linked in the development section as the BI source explicitly stated
Igor Simic realised the potential of video games as art
. I have re-added a bit into the first paragraph of "Development and release" about that, though it might not flow well - what do you think? I might remove it again.
- It was previously linked in the development section as the BI source explicitly stated
- The article is not categorized as an iOS or Android game
- Fixed, also changed 2021 -> 2018 (another remnant from the old structure of the article)
Looks good overall! I left a few notes for you, but they are all fairly minor. I will put this review on hold for the usual seven days - {{ping}} me when you have addressed the above or if you have any questions, and I will be with you as soon as possible! (although I will move this upcoming weekend, so there's a risk I won't be able to respond during Friday-Sunday).--AlexandraIDV 02:33, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
- @Alexandra IDV: Items addressed, see comments above. Thanks for the review! eviolite (talk) 03:16, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you very much. I will go ahead and promote this now!--AlexandraIDV 12:30, 30 November 2021 (UTC)