Talk:Guianan cock-of-the-rock/GA2

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Reviewer: Sasata (talk · contribs) 17:42, 21 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. Comments in a couple of days. Sasata (talk) 17:42, 21 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • I suggest moving the mention of its length out of the lead sentence.
Done. Iainstein (talk) 14:05, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • suggest links: tropical rainforest, display, plumage,
Done. Iainstein (talk) 14:34, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The females are a brownish color," ->"The females are brownish,"
Done if "The females are brownish in color" works. Iainstein (talk) 13:36, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It lives all across the forested region of north-eastern South America." The subject of "It" is unclear, because the previous sentence was talking about the other member of the genus
Corrected. Iainstein (talk) 13:46, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It diet consists" fix
To what? Iainstein (talk) 13:46, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Iainstein (talk) 14:40, 27 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds in the early months of the year and on average, lays their eggs" fix grammar
Done. Iainstein (talk) 13:51, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a complex courting behavior that is done to attract females." fix grammar
Done. I think. Iainstein (talk) 13:51, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Males and females live separately except for the females to chose a mate." awkward
Fixed. Iainstein (talk) 13:46, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Since no successful attempts to breed the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock in captivity have succeeded" no successful attempts have succeeded?
Removed contradictory successful. Iainstein (talk) 14:05, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that the male-male competition is an important in lek formation and breeding" huh?
I think I fixed that. Iainstein (talk) 13:46, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "prefers to nest on rocky cliff faces" this information has already been given earlier
removed. Iainstein (talk) 13:46, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to stop here, as there are prose problems like the examples I've given throughout the article. I ask that the nominator spend some time and carefully copyedit the text. As it is, the article does not meet criterion 1a. Sasata (talk) 04:17, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I have gone through the article to the Breeding section. Could you go over it while I finish copyediting the rest? Iainstein (talk) 14:34, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I have gone through the entire article. Could you list problems that are still there here? Iainstein (talk) 14:40, 27 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • '"The Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds in the early months of the year and, on average, lays their eggs" -> lays its eggs?
 Done
  • "except for the time when the females chose a mate"
 Done
  • "When the females chose a male by flying down to the ground and pecking the male on his rump." incomplete sentence
 Done
  • "It is certainly a very sexually dimorphic bird."
 Done
  • I don't think linking species is necessary in the middle of the description section
 Done
  • "The males crest is more pronounced than the females" ->"The male's crest is more pronounced than the female's"
 Done
  • "After two years, the juvenile males are the reverse," not sure what this means, they reverse their colouring?
 Done
  • link plumage earlier
 Done
  • "at around three years of age."
 Done
  • American English (color) or British English (centimetre)? pick one and be consistent throughout
Both are used in Canadian English (American colour is spelt color)
Both "color" and "metre" are used in the article. Sasata (talk) 17:34, 4 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • link Carl Linnaeus, type species, generic, specific name
 Done
  • "which expresses its habit of nesting on rock walls, unlike the Andean Cock-of-the-rock. the underlined part could be trimmed as the last clause isn't part of the etymology.
 Done
  • "altitude of 300 to 2000 meters." give conversion
 Done
  • "In Guianan Cock-of-the-Rock has distinctive territorial markings" fix
 Done
  • "Males usually take dominance of an area on the ground in forests, although they sometimes they occupy middle strata." fix
 Done
  • how large are the courts they make?
Looking through refs in the article and searching for new refs revealed nothing. Iainstein (talk) 15:02, 1 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done. Iainstein (talk) 14:07, 2 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Quality of courts are known to have some influence on mate choice." what determines court quality?
 Done. Iainstein (talk) 15:48, 2 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • what are the primary fruits they eat?
Added what I could. Iainstein (talk) 16:18, 2 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • link liana
 Done
  • "Three quarters (75%) of the fruit eaten by the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock at one study site was either black or red colored fruit." was->were=
 Done
  • the second paragraph of the diet subsection could be trimmed of the repetitive first sentence and integrated in the previous paragraph
 Done
  • "Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds around the early months of the year and lays its eggs around March." think this needs a definite article; clumsy repetition of "around"
 Done
  • "Small snakes, reptiles, insects and frogs are occasionally also found to be parts of the diet of the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock." awkward, how about replacing "are occasionally also found to be parts of the diet" with "are occasionally found in the diet"
 Done
  • "The males do not clean this court, but when they fly the dirt and other debris on the forest floor will be blown around." I cannot fathom why this would be important.
What do you want done?
Explain why this is important (or remove if not). Sasata (talk) 17:34, 4 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • "When this occurs, the females tap the males from behind and insemination quickly follows." How the latter part follows from the former, I don't understand.
Ok, I see it this behavior is partially explained in the following subsection, but the organization is somewhat confusing here (there is duplicated material in subsection "Breeding" and "Male mating behavior").
Want me to trim all later mentioned info from Male mating behaviour or Breeding?
There's shouldn't be repeated material, but I'll let you decide how it should best be organized. Sasata (talk) 17:34, 4 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • "While lekking, males purposely contrast themselves from the background to attract the females." how is this done?
 Done. Iainstein (talk) 17:24, 2 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The second paragraph of "Breeding" is written confusingly. "The hens engaged in a “pool–comparison” tactic, meaning that females chose males of higher rank in courtship." who is male rank determined by the female? How do the females know which males are "lower ranking"?
 Done. Iainstein (talk) 16:55, 2 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Thus, with a smaller frequency of attacks on the smaller group, the smaller group" repetitive
 Done
  • "The female lays 1 or 2 eggs" spell out numbers less than 10, per MoS
 Done
  • link incubate
 Done
  • "However, females will make repairs" unnecessary however
 Done
  • section and subsection titles should be lower case
 Done
  • link fitness
 Done
  • "The Guianan Cock–of–the–rock is on the menu of many species of predators." prose too informal
 Done
  • the eagle and falcon predators should be linked
 Done
  • "In a study by Nicholas B. West it was found that" this type of information usually isn't necessary for an encyclopedia article and can be trimmed without loss
 Done
I will try to find the info that I haven't found yet and will add it to the article soon. Iainstein (talk) 14:37, 1 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I have addressed all comments except for those I would like feedback on before fixing. Iainstein (talk) 17:25, 2 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The entire description section is sourced to this webpage, but none of the cited information is on this page. Same with the next citation to this page. And the next ....
 Done
The thing is, at the bottom of the webpage is arrows that direct you to different sections. Fixed by making different refs. Iainstein (talk) 02:08, 5 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Source: "... and may have gathered information on lek geometry, territory density, and the location of activity centers on the lek." Article: "The court quality is determined by the lek geometry, territory density and location of activity in the center of the lek." Apart from the source being too closely paraphrased, I think the meaning has been altered incorrectly.
 Done I think.
  • "The males each have their own court on the forest floor, and this is where they make their courts." ?
 Done
  • how about splitting that large lead into two paragraphs?
done
  • "The males plumage is bright orange and have" fix grammar
done
  • "The Guianan Cock-of-the-rock lives all across the forested region"
done
  • "north-eastern South America" don't think this needs to be hyphenated
done
  • March is overlinked
done
  • "The females chose a male" chose->choose
done
  • "male to male competition" needs hyphenation
done
  • link iris
done
  • "Both sexes of this species also have"
done
  • "The one-year-old juvenile males look similar to an adult female, but has" fix grammar
done
  • "They have a total length of approximately 30 centimetres" who? The juvenile females?
done
  • "However, the two species of cock-of-the-rock are allopatric, and therefore do not meet with one another." However not necessary (there is no contrast)
done
  • there's still a problem with American/British English spelling consistency (both color/coloration and colour, for example, also behavior & behaviour, labor, etc.)
done
  • the final three sentences of the 1st paragraph of taxonomy and etymology don't belong there (probably better in description)
done
  • what work did Linnaeus publish the original description in? Any chance of a citation & link (all of his major works are online)?
I couldn't find anything.
  • are there no historical synonyms for the species?
don't think so
  • "which expresses its habit" expresses -> express
done
  • "The diet of the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock consists mainly of fruits. They are frugivorous." combine sentences (they essentially say the same thing)
done
  • link canopy
done
  • "either black or red coloured fruit." ->"either black- or red-coloured fruit."
done
  • who is Gilliard
done
  • "As noted above, the Guianan Cock-of-the-rock is primarily frugivorous in adulthood." This short paragraph should be combined with the previous (similar information is presented) with duplicate information trimmed. The sentence referred to previously does not indicate any cchange in dietary habits with age... is this something that should be mentioned?
done
  • "Guianan Cock-of-the-rock breeds around the early months of the year and lays its eggs near or during March." suggest "Guianan Cock-of-the-rocks breed early in the year, and females lay their eggs around March."
done
done
  • "The males each have their own area on the forest floor, and this is where they make their courts." suggest "The males each have their own area on the forest floor where they make their courts."
done
  • There's a lot of short sentences throughout the text, which makes the flow quite staccato. I suggest going through the article again and finding instances where neighboring sentences discussing similar ideas can be joined. Some examples:
got a few.
  • "The size of each court is about 1 metre (3.3 ft) in diameter. The next bird is often about 3 metres (9.8 ft) away." -> "The size of each court is about 1 metre (3 ft) in diameter, and the next bird is often about 3 metres (10 ft) away." (note also I reduced the sig figs in the output; these values are approximations)
done
  • "The females and males live separately. Only when it is time to mate do females fly over to observe and choose a male." -> "The females and males live separately; only during mating season do females fly over leks to observe and choose a male."
done
  • "lower ranking single males" needs a hyphen
done
  • "The rankings were determined by where they courts were positioned in the lek, the more central they were the more successful and higher ranking the male was." suggest "The rankings were determined by where the courts were positioned in the lek: courts that were more centrally placed indicated more successful and higher-ranking males."
done
  • "towards larger more centrally" comma after larger
done
  • "The smaller of the two cocks-of-the-rocks (the other being Andean Cock-of-the-rock)" remove link (already linked previously), capitalize, & trim unnecessary (already explained)
done.
  • There is still redundant information in the first two paragraphs of "Male mating behaviour" (repeated in the previous section)
done
  • "The males also have a variety"
done
  • "Often Guianan Cock–of–the–rock males engage in courtship disruption practices." -> "Males often engage in courtship disruption practices."
done
  • "In lower intensity disruptions", "Higher intensity disruptions" needs hyphens
done
  • "male Guianan Cock–of–the–rocks usually directed its" -> "males usually directed their"
done
  • "uncommon event which had little effect if any at all on" -> "uncommon event that had little, if any, effect on"
done
  • "likely because of the fact that older more experienced" -> "probably because older, more experienced"
done
  • link sex drive
done
  • "Due to the fact that Guianan Cock–of–the–rock forms large leks" -> "Because Guianan Cock–of–the–rocks form large leks"
done
  • "Since no attempted breedings Guianan Cock-of-the-rock" missing word
done
  • link Cotingidae
done
  • incubate linked twice in close succession
done
  • "The ideal nesting sites for this species can usually be sought out" -> "The ideal nesting sites for this species are usually located"
done
  • "and plant material being deposited into the crevices."
done
  • "This bright coloration provides a sexual advantage for the males, increasing their likelihood of successfully mating." Don't all males have the same coloring? How is this an advantage (or rather, over whom is this an advantage?)
done
The ref is for the redlist whch has it listed.
  • no need for subsections in the small "Conservation" section
done
  • "The Guianan Cock–of–the–rock is part of the diet of many species of predators. It also plays a key role in the environment it lives in by dispersing seeds from fruit it ingests." this is info already discussed above
done
  • link vocalization
done
  • page #for ref 25? Why don't the birds call out when there's a snake?
ref didn't support the info.
Ok, after reviewing the article again, I think it meets the criteria for Good Article. All images are appropriately licensed, the prose is ok, and I've checked enough sources to convince myself that the sources are being represented correctly and paraphrasing is adequate. Thanks for putting up with my slow review! Passing now, cheers. Sasata (talk) 15:47, 19 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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