Talk:Heinrich Sigismund von der Heyde/GA1
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 22:57, 7 July 2018 (UTC)
I will review, comments to follow over next few days. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 22:57, 7 July 2018 (UTC)
OK, there are quite a few issues here but most will be sorted with a copyedit.
Infobox
- The place of birth in the "Born" field has spacing issues
Done
- Seven Years War is mentioned in the infobox but isn't explicitly stated in the body of the article
Done
- Awards: is being listed on the statue considered to be an award? It's a commemoration....? and yes I'd consider it an award
Lead
- Kolberg is linked on the second mention, not the first
Done
- His exact date of birth not stated (it is in the infobox)
Done
- "the Order Pour le Merite": shouldn't it be the "the Order of Pour le Merite"? Not really. People want to add Order, but it really is just Pour le Merite....
Family
- "...born in 1703 Schacksdorf in...": there's a missing word in there. Also I suggest putting some context for what Schacksdorf is, since you later refer to "heir to Schacksdorf"
Done
Military career
- The 2nd sentence of the 1st paragraph mentions a series of ranks; these should all be lower case. I suggest that these be presented more in sentence style for better flow. Also, chief of staff of what?
Done
- "In 1741 he received his first Grenadier company": received? I assume you mean given command of...
Done
- No context for "There must then have been inconsistencies between him and General Leopold von Anhalt-Dessau." I appreciate sources may not be clear on the "inconsistencies" but who is Anhalt-Dessau to Heyde?
Done
- link Königsberg, Kolberg
Done
Sieges of Kolberg
- "became a deputy commander, and on 3 October 1758," deputy commander of what? The town or a unit? Also, the way the sentence is structured suggests a relationship between the promotion and the attack on 3 October.
Done
- "He tried": unusual language, suggest "his forces made"
Done
- King who? Suggest linking as well
Done
- "the second siege took place". I suggest for clarity and context amending the first sentence of the first paragraph to "commencing his first siege..."
Done
- "Sweden and Russia included the fortress": included?
Done
- "the Austrians, at which the Austrians"; repeated usage of Austrians and furthermore, I thought the besieging forces were Swedish/Russian. Where did the Austrians come from? clarified
- "image of General Werner, one with the image of the Colonel Heyde"; no need for the ranks in this sentence
Done
- "Friedrich wrote: I am not infallible; in this man I have been greatly wrong.": who is Friedrich and why was he greatly wrong about Heyde?
- "promoted o the rank of ": typo in there
Done
Final siege and captivity
- "3 3 September 1761": repeated numbers
Done
- "the Friedrich Eugen of Württemberg"; this is a name not a title so "the" is not appropriate
Done
- "but he too struggled": who else was struggling with supplies?
Done
- "preparing storms": storms?
Done
- "The troops under General Dubislav von Platen.." No antecedence for "The troops", some context is required
Done
- I don't think it necessary to use italics for emphasis
Done
- "the Duke's troops"; who is the Duke (unless it is Friedrich, but then you will need to clarify that they are the same)Friedrich is the King. I think it's clearer now.
- "ended the Russia's"; "the"?
Done
- "Heyde was reinstated.."; in this sentence, Heyde's name is stated twice. The second usage could be "he". Also reinstated to what?
Done
- "in Königsberg in the fortress of Friedrichsburg"; in the first paragraph of the military career section it is stated the fortress is near Konigsberg not in it
- "Marienkirche of Kolberg"; link this or provide a translation of Marienkirche
Done
- "Kolberg, broke"; replace the comma with and, the two are linked
Done
Sources
- Need to ensure formatting of all sources are consistent
Done
- Note 4: place of publication? Also, the year of publication is stated twice
Done
- Note 5: Shouldn't the obit link be part of the title or chapter?
Done
- issue with the presentation of the link for note 6, and what does np mean? no publisher) written out
That's it for now, I may have more comments once the above issues have been addressed. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:55, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
- thank you @Zawed:! auntieruth (talk) 16:29, 12 July 2018 (UTC)
- @Auntieruth55: Hi, just resuming this review. Reviewing your changes, they look good. I like the use of the box for his promotions. I have made a few edits, check you are OK with these. I realised I didn't check the images first time so have done this; they look to have appropriate tags. One final issue: the sentence "Heyde, deployed his approximately troops..." is missing the number of troops. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:44, 21 July 2018 (UTC)
- :*thank you @Zawed:! added 700....he didn't have a large force! thanks much, your tweaks look good. Cheers, auntieruth (talk) 15:31, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
I'm satisfied that this meets GA standard. Passing now. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:43, 25 July 2018 (UTC)