- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Hahc21 (talk · contribs) 00:00, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
- Well. Since the user is semi-retired, i'll be handling the review alone. Any help will be gladly received.
- Lead paragraph too large; I split it into two.
- Moved sample to thcomposition section.
- Deleted redundance "3:50 (3 minutes, 50 seconds)" >> "three minutes and 50 seconds."
- "The song was composed in the key B minor using common time" >> "The song was composed on common time in the key..."
- I think that this is a cover from Leona, this song was written by Jörgen Elofsson, but for Darin Zanyar, a swedish singer, in 2006 for his album "Breaking the news".
- "to come home to where she is waiting for him, but feels homeless without him."
- Some redundant use of "him". May recommend change the second "him" with "his presence"
- "The opening lyrics are "Wait here for you to call me/ For you to tell me that ev'rything's a big mistake."
- Propose a change to "The song opens with Lewis singing..."; and, however, this sentence seems to be an orphan, not connected woth the rest of the paragraph. Which is the importance of it?
- It's the composition section, I'm just saying what the opening lyric is. Nothing wrong with that. Aaron • You Da One
- "Nick Levine for Digital Spy described Lewis's vocals in the lyric "In this cold I'm walking aimless, feeling helpless" as "a tour de force of despair and misery"
- "Although he thought that the song was "almost unbearably bleak","
- Redundant use of –though/t?
- The critical section is lacking some order. The sentences seemed to be separate statements rather than a whole paragraph. It needs cohesiveness between the sentences.
- Why it has two versions on the TL? They're musically different? Or just on different albums?
- "debuted at number 173 on the strength of digital download sales..."
That's all for now. —Hahc21 [TALK][CONTRIBS] 01:18, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
Ok, nothing else to note.
—Hahc21 [TALK][CONTRIBS] 20:00, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.