Talk:Hurricane Lane (2018)/GA1
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 16:24, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- There's a lot in the first two lede sentences. I think the second one should be split in half just for navigation/flow purposes.
- Split/fixed up NoahTalk 16:33, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- "repairs continued into April 2019." - any update? That's almost a year ago now
- The aftermath states repairs wrapped up in that month. Changed to concluded in NoahTalk 16:40, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Favorable environmental conditions, including high sea surface temperatures and low wind shear fostered intensification." - either there's a missing comma, or you should put the "fostered" part after "conditions"
- There was a missing comma. NoahTalk 16:59, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- Could you mention how close Lane got to Hawaii?
- Link "hurricane watch"
- Done in lead and preps. NoahTalk 16:59, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- I was confused when the first impact section said "Hawaii", thinking it was the state, and then you refer it as the Big Island. Maybe call it as such in the header for the section?
- Changed. NoahTalk 17:21, 6 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Some of the lines sparked fires in areas with dry brush" - I was thinking at first "what lines". Maybe put the wind measurement first, so this reference to the power lines can be right after you mentioning the downed trees and power lines?
- "At one point, a hurricane shelter had to be evacuated for encroaching flames while 600 people were evacuated overall." - the shelter evacuating part is interesting. however, the 600 people overall evacuated should be in the preps section. Or, does it mean that 600 people evacuated because of the fire?
- The news article states that 600 were evacuated due to the wildfires. Also rescued the source. NoahTalk 00:28, 7 March 2020 (UTC)
- "The storm left approximately 11,450 customers without electricity across Maui and Molokai, including 4,000 in West Maui." - after most of the paragraph was about fires, I felt like this bit was an add on. I think this should be earlier in the paragraph, ditto the following one, that there'll be good flow to the bit about the fires.
- moved em. NoahTalk 00:39, 7 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Heavy rains later affected the island" - since this is starting a paragraph, and the section header is two islands, I'm not sure what island you're referring to here
- "primarily limited felled trees and fences." - grammar
All in all the article is in really good shape. Great work by the editors. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:24, 5 March 2020 (UTC)
- @Hurricanehink: That should be it. Please let me know how it looks. Also, how does it look for a future FAC run? NoahTalk 00:39, 7 March 2020 (UTC)