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Talk:I Lost a Friend/GA2

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:39, 16 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I believe I owe you one after you co-nominated "Lift Yourself", so I will give back by reviewing this! --K. Peake 11:39, 16 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Infobox looks good!
  • Add mention of Finneas writing and producing the song as the second sentence since the lead is quite short currently; it should be written out in the body anyway because otherwise the credits in the infobox are WP:OR and a personnel section is not needed for one performer
  • Target single to Single (music); this will be the third sentence
  • "Described as an electropop ballad," → "An electropop ballad," with the target
  • "childhood friend, and regretting and wondering" → "childhood friend and regretting doing so, as well as wondering" since this is more accurate
  • "A music video for the track was" → "An accompanying music video was" with the wikilink
  • The body does not call the field "overgrown" or anything familiar
  • Swap live performance and remix order
  • "A remix by" → "A remix of the song by"

Background and development

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  • Target WBUR to WBUR-FM
  • "Finneas explains the song" → "Finneas explained the song"
  • "He says" → "He said,"
  • "He continues to say it's about" → "He continued by saying the song is about"
  • "he had reunited with again." → "with whom he had reunited again."
  • "going to hear it," → "going to hear the song"
  • "to get his opinion on the song." → "to get his opinion."
  • "The songs cover art" → "The song's cover art"
  • Writing in 2018 sentence should come directly after the above instead
  • Digital download and streaming part should come before the second single status
  • Target single to Single (music)
  • "on Finneas' debut extended play (EP), → "from Finneas' debut EP"
  • Remove wikilink on Blood Harmony and add the release year of the album in brackets
  • Move the remix mention to music video and promotion after the live performances in a new para

 Not done

  • "the song during the afternoon in" → "the song during an afternoon when in"
  • Add a sentence saying the writing and production credits

Composition and lyrics

[edit]
  • "described the genre of the track as an" → "described "I Lost a Friend" as an"
  • Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
  • "features minimalist of instrumentation of" → "features minimalist instrumentation that consists of"
  • Remove wikilinks on piano and drums
  • "an aggressive beat and" → "an aggressive beat, and"
  • "later explained in an interview with Pitchfork saying:" → "later explained the production in an interview with Pitchfork, saying:"
  • "a "talk-through," and wanted to" → "a "talk-through", which meant he tried to"
  • "He showcases this in the pre-chorus." → "Finneas showcases the process in the pre-chorus:" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
  • [11] should solely be at the end of the para
  • "discusses the pre-chorus" → "discussed the pre-chorus"
  • "and people to stay" → "and others to stay"
  • "fights," He further says," → "fights", and also said,"

Critical reception

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  • "met with mainly positive reviews." → "met with mainly positive reviews from music critics" with the target
  • "on your tracks."" → "on your tracks"."
  • Will Richards' review belongs after Brittany Spanos' because the former is the most critical review here so should come after the others that are clearly more positive
  • "Writing for NME, Will Richards" → "For NME, Will Richards"
  • "less positive with the song," → "less positive towards the song,"
  • "distorted bass", comparing it to Billie Eilish's" → "distorted bass," comparing "I Lost a Friend" to Billie Eilish's debut studio album" with the wikilink
  • Add release year of the album in brackets
  • Move the remix praise to the remix's new para in the succeeding section to this one
  • "was also praised by critics." → "was praised by critics."
  • "and that it shifts" → "and stated that the remix shifts"
  • "noted the original featured a" → "noted that while the original features a"

Music video and promotion

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  • Mention in the opening sentence that it was released to Finneas' YouTube channel
  • "the sunset lowers and the darkness" → "the sunset lowers and darkness"
  • "As he continues to" → "While Finneas continues to"
  • "met with positive reviews" → "met with positive reviews from critics."
  • "its one take", and that "images" → "its one take", noting the choreography for "images"
  • "Finneas toured throughout" → "He toured across"
  • "he performed from the EP during the tour." → "Finneas performed from the EP on the tour."
  • "In October of the same year," → "That same month,"
  • "performed on a keyboard," → "performed while sat at a keyboard,"
  • "covered in blue and neon lights showcasing" → "being covered in blue as neon lights showcased" with the target
  • "in hushed vocals.[20] He briefly wanders off the stage before" → "in hushed vocals, and briefly wandered off the stage during the performance before"

References

[edit]

 Not done

  • WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 7
  • Middle name should be in firstname parameter for ref 10

Final comments and verdict

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Kyle Peake, thank you so much for the review! It's always a pleasure working with you! I have addressed all of your concerns. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 18:44, 16 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss Thank you, but the not done template should only be marked on things that are really not done; though why are you against moving the remix info? --K. Peake 21:24, 16 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I feel it would be better in the background. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 01:58, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The Ultimate Boss  Pass now, good job on solving the issues but I still did some brief copyediting! --K. Peake 09:03, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]