Talk:Infamous 2/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AdrianGamer (talk · contribs) 02:50, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

You do not need citations in the infobox for uncontroversial stuff like the game's release dates per WP:LEADCITE
Japanese release date is not needed if it is not developed in Japan.
Lead is not long enough. (WP:LEADLENGTH)
The player is given several opportunities to use these powers for Good or Evil purposes in the game's Karma system - "Good" and "Evil" do not need to be capitalized.
The sentences in the second paragraph of the lead do not seem to be related to each other. It needs some re-arrangement. You can put focus on only one to two elements, not all
You need to mention the game's plot in the lead as well
It was noted for its fictional city, traversal, and improved graphics, while being criticized for its Karma system and camera. - I would rephrase it to "the game was generally well received by gaming media upon release, with praise particularly directed at the game's city-design, traversal and graphics. However, it was criticized for its Karma system and camera"
You do not need all these release dates in the lead. They are shown in the infobox already. You need to mention them again in the release section instead.

Gameplay

The player controls Cole and primarily interacts with the world of New Marais through Cole's electricity-based powers; - Sounds like that if you don't use your power, you cannot interact with the world.
and either for better or worse in dealing with the citizens of New Marais - You should mention this after you mention the Karma system.
Due to being vivified electricity, Cole is unable to use vehicles, - "vivified" sounds like a strange word to use here.
A source is needed for this statement (Cole is unable to use vehicles, take up weapons, or swim), IGN review does not tell me that he doesn't take fall damage.
The game features many different possible powers, ranging from simple electric bolts to large electric rockets. - "possible" is not necessary
Cole can engage in melee with enemies using an electrical weapon called the Amp - engage in melee "combat". IGN review does not tell me that Amp is an electrical weapon.
he can "Bio Drain" humans - What does this mean then? Article should be written in a way that everyone understands.—
I would like to more focus on the Misc power and the Ionic power, which sounds like something important from what I have read from the source.
Cole's health will regenerate over time. - Source for this?
You should split the Karma stuff to a new paragraph.
The powers you can unlock depend Cole's relationship with Kuo and Nix and his Karma. - Who is Kuo and who is Nux. How the relationship between characters influence gameplay. The article does not seem to talk about that.
The gameplay section should be written in present tense, which means that I should not see a lot of "will' throughout the article
The powers you can unlock depend Cole's relationship with Kuo and Nix and his Karma - players (MOS:YOU, depend "on")
Would be great that you cite the page number for the PDF like how Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis handles it. I do not have to read the entire PDF over and over again to check.
Karma ranges from Hero on the Good side, to Infamous on the Evil side. - Should have specify that hero is the "Best of the best" while infamous is the "worst of the worst"
During the game the player will encounter Karma moments, the Karma moments are delivered with 3D cutscenes and character-driven dialogue - Should split them into two different sentences. What is "character-driven" dialogue? 3D cutscenes do not seem to be a main point of the Karma system
Source again does not say that "completing one will lock out the other mission but will reward the player with a large amount of Karma towards their selected Karma goal"
Citizens may throw rocks at and turn on Cole if he has Evil Karma or take pictures of and compliment Cole if he has Good Karma. - unsourced
No mention of side content? GameTrailer review even mention fire and ice abilities. Any mention of that?
The source told me that "You can explore the city however you choose", contradicting with and the player must work through main story missions on the first island before being able to access the next one,
and unlock medical stations where Cole will re-awaken should he die - Personal opinion, I prefer "respawn" instead of "re-awaken"

Plot

Normally a setting subsection should have few sources. The game's main plot does not though
Plot section is too long and need to be shortened per WP:PLOT
Before Cole can meet Wolfe, his lab is destroyed, spreading Blast Shards across the city - he? Who? Cole or Wolfe?
Bertrand is himself a Conduit - "himself" is not necessary
Disgusted by the powers he receives and now believing Conduits to be evil, he attempts to incite a Conduit genocide using the power of the Conduit mercenaries he helped develop to instill fear in the populace. - Who? Nix?
The plot section is not really necessary, given that the last sentence of the plot section has already summarize the ending very well.

Development and release

In April 2010 it was reported that Sony had purchased the domain name "infamousthegame.com", increasing speculation that a sequel was in development. - "it was reported" is not necessary
Development of Infamous 2 started immediately after the first Infamous had finished development - When Sucker Punch finished the production of the first Infamous? Eurogamer interview does not mention this at all
saying "everything was on the table" - useless quote
Due to negative feedback from fans, they redesigned the main character, Cole. - This statement does not seem to be necessary, as many of these information are mentioned again afterwards.
However, after being "taken aback by the uproar of fan support for the original Cole, - Can be paraphrased
Source 17 is a better source than source 18 and 19 when talking about to the extent of making him look like a different character
it was found challenging to balance the effects of importing saves from the original Infamous and keeping the game interesting for those who didn't - WP:CONTRACTION, "did not"
other southern influences were mixed and matched. - What exactly is "southern influence". Any examples for that?
Source 24 does not have the "big old jungle gym" quote
The game's music was composed by James Dooley, Bryan "Brain" Mantia, the New Orleans band Galactic, and Jonathan Mayer. - Not mentioned in the infobox. You should add them to it
fours hours of music being recorded. - "four"
The melee combat in the game was redesigned from the original with finishing moves being added. A large focus on the melee was the presentation, which was meant to make the player feel super-powered. - Two-sentence paragraph does not look nice. Remove it, merge it or expand it.
have more characters on-screen, more complicated shaders, and much greater layering - Could be paraphrased
A limited beta for testing this feature was released in April, 2011 - No comma, "April 2011"
and details for signing up for the beta became available on the official Infamous website on March 13.[ - Not notable information
Sucker Punch wanted to give players a way to continue enjoying the game after beating it - instead of "beating", I would choose to use "completing" or "finishing" as they sound more formal
They considered co-op, though found it didn't make for an experience you wanted to keep playing, saying "ultimately, the game still ends. - WP:CONTRACTION again. Also, use the full form for co-op (co-operative multiplayer mode)
On October 2011, it announced that PlayStation Move support would cover the whole game, and is part of an update which will come out sometime after Infamous: Festival of Blood is released, along with a new cutscene creation tool for the UGC creator - When it was released then. "come out" does not sound formal. Infamous Festival of Blood should be in italic.
Source does not tell me that the comics were produced by DC Comics
Source does not tell me that these editions come with a Reaper skin, a Sly Cooper's cane skin, a samurai sword skin, and a caveman club skin.
A bit surprising that the article's release section mention nothing about the game's release date and Festival of Blood. It is major part.
Infamous Collection's subsection is too short. Expand it or merge it to other sections.

Reception

Eurogamer's Christian Donland - Author is Christian Donlan, not Donland
One close paraphrasing

Source: too much going on for the story to find its center
Article: too much going on for the game to find its center

It is not IGN/GameSpot that think something. It is the reviewer.
"more living, breathing locale than Empire City ever was" - Can be paraphrased. The same goes for this one: "New Marais is every bit as good at its job as Empire City was"
It is page 2 of the Eurogamer review that said "video games' true master of parkour". Link it to page 2, not page 1
Paragraph 3 of the reception section is poorly arranged. More opinions on UGC would be nice
GameTrailers said the morality system didn't provide tough decisions and couldn't consistently keep up with the action - Again, WP:CONTRACTION
1UP reviewer Thierry Nguyen stated "I just hope that Sucker Punch can take the combat/traversal/power mechanics of this game, and then apply the pacing, storytelling, and flow of the previous game, to then create an utterly fantastic open-world superhero action game - Why this long quotes is needed.
Eurogamer found the draw distance was low, though the frame rate improved from the first game - wikilink draw distance
What about the game's sales in Europe? Any information on that?
The game received some very good reviews. Any accolades for the game?
No mention of Infamous Second Son?

References

Source 1 is unreliable per WP:USERG
Instead of IGN Entertainment, it should simply be IGN
PlayStation Blog published Source 4 and 10
Too much primary sources are used (Source 2, 4, 8, 10, 29, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 39). While there is no fixed policy that they cannot be used, try to find some secondary sources that can be used to replace them
GamesRadar published source 11
GameTrailers published source 12. Do not use "GameTrailers.com"
What is the accessdate of source 15?
Wikilink Joystiq and AOL for source 19
Digital Spy published source 21. "Limited" is not needed
Instead of Eurogamer.net, it should simply be Eurogamer
Date and accessdate for source 37? You should wikilink Kotaku
The work field for Source 38 should simply GamesRadar
The work field for Source 42 and 51 should be wikilinked
Who is the author of source 46, 47 and 48?
GameSpot should be filled in the work field of source 52
Paste Magazine published source 23
Date format should be consistent.
You may want to archive these sources, so that we can gain access to it even if these links do not exist anymore. Checklink tool show no dead link.

Images

No screenshot for gameplay?
All images are fine

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and y:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Good to see someone working on this article. This represents a massive improvement for the article. However, there is some really serious issues that prevented it from being a good article. It is getting there, but there is still a lot of room for improvement. AdrianGamer (talk) 14:39, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Freshness For Lettuce (talk) 20:27, 16 August 2015 (UTC) @AdrianGamer:[reply]

Lead

Decapitalized the "Good" and "Evil", though turned "Evil" to "selfish"; deleted some information in second paragraph; added story; reworded reception; dates added to "Development and release".

Gameplay

Deleted some unsourced information; deleted "'Bio Drain'"; added information about ice and fire; specified that Hero and Evil are the highest.

Plot

Cleared-up; reduced length of words by 200.

Development and release

Typographical errors have been fixed; "big old jungle gym" has been sourced to the page the statement is on; "development on Infamous 2 started immediately after the first Infamous had finished development" has been sourced to the page the statement is on; "everything was on the table" explains why Sucker Punch changed Cole, they said "leave no stone unturned" was their motto, in interviews, many times; composers mentioned in Infobox; merged paragraph on melee; resourced the information on the editions of the game; reorganized the lower area in "Development and release"; "Infamous: Festival of Blood" is mentioned in the Lead, I do not think it needs any more coverage, it has an article for itself; Wikilinked "cooperative gamplay"; reworded some things.

Reception

Sourced Eurogamer's quotation to the page it is on; reorganized the paragraph that was criticized for the organization; fixed typographical errors; paraphrased quotation from "IGN"; Wikilinked "draw distance" and "frame rate"; it is 13 on the list of the best 25 (games) for Playstation 3 from "IGN", was nominated for a "D.I.C.E. Award" for the game's music; no additional information found on sales; Infamous Second Son is mentioned in the Lead, I do not think it needs any more coverage, it has an article for itself.

References

Wikilinked companies; renamed many companies in their references, such as "IGN Entertainment"; dating style is consistent; deleted the first source.

Images

Added a screenshot of gameplay.

Responses

I have another look at the article and find some other small problems.

You still have multiple citations in the lead
Japanese release date is not needed if it is not developed in Japan.
Lead can be longer, though I am now satisfied with what it is like now
The second paragraph of the lead can talk more about the game's development, especially the design stuff. It still feels like three unrelated items linked together in a paragraph
and either for better or worse in dealing with the citizens of New Marais - you can mention this after you mention the karma system.
The player controls Cole in the world of New Marais. Cole's electricity-based powers are used in movement - Can rephrase it to "The player controls Cole, who has electricity-based powers, in the world of New Marais. These powers are used in combat.}}
I forget to mention in my initial review, but if you cannot use vehicles, there is no point mentioning that you cannot used them.
Cole's health will regenerate over time. - Source for this?
What Karmic Boosts is? What function it has?
The story diverges from this point dependent on whether the player chooses to activate the RFI, sacrificing Cole and thousands of Conduits but saving millions of humans, including Zeke who has contracted the plague, or work with the Beast to save the Conduits while the rest of humanity will perish. - This summarize the game's ending better than the two ending sections. It is clean and precise.
The lead is supposed to summarize the article. So, both Festival of Blood and Second Son, should have some mention in the article, especially Festival of Blood, since it is an expansion for 2.
Andrew Reigner of Game Informer found the story disengaging with confusing narrative threads - Should be Andrew Reiner, not Reigner
GameTrailers said the morality system did not provide tough decisions, but provided two dramatically different gameplay experiences. - GameTrailers would not say anything. It is an organization. Reword it to "Reviewer from GameTrailers"
You need to mention the awards/nominations received by Infamous 2 in the article as well.

When these are fixed, I believe that the article should be good to go. Keep up the good work. AdrianGamer (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Freshness For Lettuce (talk) 05:07, 20 August 2015 (UTC) @AdrianGamer:[reply]

No citations are in the Lead. Though it was not developed in Japan, it is useful information. Changed the Lead, is longer. Cited the information on the regeneration of health. Karmic Boosts are additional abilities based on Karma, such as an "AOE effect" for healing citizens, though I didn't find any information I could use to cite a more elaborative explanation than what is currently on the article. If I make the "Ending" how you propose, large things wouldn't be covered, such as The Beast dying and giving Cole his abilities. Added information on "Infamous: Festival of Blood" and Infamous Second Son. Typographical errors have been fixed. Reworded the information on Gametrailers. Mentioned information on nominations and the list from "IGN".

Alright, I respect your decision on the ending part. Infamous 2 promoted to

. Congratulations. AdrianGamer (talk) 05:55, 20 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]