Talk:Isobel (song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 10:29, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

• This has waited for quite along time, and I'd been thinking oif reviewing it for a while, so here goes. How come this is GA2 and not GA1? FunkMonk (talk) 10:29, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
• ""Isobel" had an origin amongst" Originated amongst might sound better.
• "his very first songlyric in fact" Too informal, and doesn't really add anything at al.
• "and had met the singer while she was a member of KUKL" Who had met the singer? The former part of the sentence doesn't connect well with the latter.
• "ever since" Too flowery, since is enough.
• "Björk came with the melody" Came up with?
• "until evening." Untio the evening.
• "She worked it out on a portable Casio keyboard" What does "work it out" mean here?
• "took it to Nellee Hooper" Brought it to would sound better.
• You should present all the people mentioned throughout the article. What do they do, and where are they from?
• "and then she tacked on" Tacked on has negative connotations. What does the source say?
• "Live performances" What is the scope? The name implies it is about its general performance in live concerts, but why do you arbitrarily mention only a few specific dates, if it is stable? I think the section would feel less pointless if it also covered recorded live performances, for example.
• The concert photo would look better aligned to the right; the subjects of photos should preferably face the article text, not away from it.

 Done Alex ^talk 11:30, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

• "have a "visually rich narrative" You should give in-text attribution to subjective, direct quotes.
• "that was collaborating with the album" On the album?
• "as the album's second single," After what song?
• "that's why" Using contractions is discouraged.
• "So as to" Redundant.
• The second paragraph under Synopsis has no sources, whereas the first has several.
• In many cases you use the same ref for multiple consecutive sections in the same paragraphs. This is not needed, you only have to place a source once after every paragraph if you only use the same one.
• "and Marius de Vries" Only mentioned in intro and personnel list, it would appear he is important enough to mention in the article body?
• "although it received no support from MTV" You say it was shown, so "little" support would seem more adequate.

@FunkMonk:  Done Alex ^talk 03:51, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

• Alright, looks good to me now, passed! FunkMonk (talk) 13:23, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.