Jump to content

Talk:It's Better If You Don't Understand/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 18:15, 28 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I'm Cartoon network freak and here's my review for your GAN:

Lead
  • Its title comes from the last line on the lyrics of the song "The Other Side". -> Its title comes from the final lyrics of one of its songs, "The Other Side".
  • The EP consists of four songs -> you've already used "song"
  • Pop, Pop rock and Rap genres. -> pop, pop rock and rap genres
  • It was only released as a digital EP and it was made available for download on May 11, 2010, by Elektra Records in the United States (US) and in France, on August 11, 2010, by Atlantic Records, "Count on Me" was not featured on the tracklist of the latter release. -> The record was made available for digital download on May 11, 2010 through Elektra Records in the United States, and on August 11, 2010 through Atlantic Records to France. The song "Count on Me" was not featured on the tracklist of the latter release.
  • Home video -> home video
  • for the song "The Other Side". -> for the track; you've already used "song"
  • All the tracks on the EP were produced by The Smeezingtons (Mars, Philip Lawrence, Ari Levine), with the closing track being co-produced by Jeff Bhasker. -> All the material on the EP was produced by The Smeezingtons members Mars, Philip Lawrence and Ari Lewine, with the closing track being...
  • and genre -> and a genre
  • calling it "pop -> calling it a "pop
  • (2010), all the songs were performed -> (2010), with them being performed
  • the same name, but "Somewhere in Brooklyn". the same name, with the exception of "Somewhere in Brooklyn".
  • in the US -> in the United States
  • peak in the -> peak on the

Amended. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:10, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Background
  • father is from -> father was from
He still is, so why the change?
  • In an interview with Rap-Up, Mars explained that his father is from Brooklyn and he believes "that everyone can agree that New York is a special place". Therefore, "Somewhere in Brooklyn" is a song dedicated to that borough. -> In an interview with Rap-Up, Mars explained that the song "Somewhere in Brooklyn" was dedicated to his father, as he is from Brooklyn, with him further confessing that "everyone can agree that New York is a special place".
  • Lyrically, it is about a girl that is somewhere in Brooklyn and Mars is going to try to find her. -> this doesn't flow; try to re-word ----
  • Levine, in a interview granted to Sound on Sound, talked about -> Levine talked in an interview with Sound on Sound about
  • some Mars' -> some of Mars'
  • Regarding "The Other Side", the producer said they re-arranged the production and were surprised after finding out "that there were all these writers on the track", despite the song also being written to somebody else’s track -> Reword
  • Regarding the lyrics conceptualization Mars said that described his daily basis: "the lifestyle you end up living as an artist and how I would describe it". He concluded, "It’s better if you don’t understand".[4] The EP it's titled from the last line on the lyrics of the latter song -> Concerning the lyrics conceptualization, Mars confessed that "the lifestyle you end up living as an artist and how I would describe it"
  • He concluded, "It’s better if you don’t understand". -> overflous

What do you mean?

  • Replace with sentence from the lead
  • Different grammar (said, said...)
  • took a long -> took long

It doesn't flow with "took long".

  • horns", however -> horns". However
  • Different grammar (they, they...)
  • and we spent -> an [they]
  • Reword "that was when Jeff Bhasker help was crucial to the track."
  • It was the first song -> "Talking to the Moon" remains the first song
  • Remove "according to Mars himself,"

Concluded. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:37, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Composition
  • featuring Pop,[6] Pop rock and Rap. -> featuring pop, pop rock and rap genres.[1][6]
  • According to Mars, the EP it's hard to classify -> Mars explained that the EP is hard to classify, with him saying that "[he] just [writes] songs that [he] strongly [believes] in and that are coming from inside. There's no tricks. It's honesty with big melodies. And [he's] singing the s*** out of them"
  • The opening track, "Somewhere in Brooknlyn", was composed by The Smeezingtons (Mars, Philip Lawrence, Levine). It is romantic, soft and smooth song. -> A romantic soft and smooth song, the opening track "Somewhere in Brooknlyn" was composed by The Smeezingtons.
  • and synth -> and synthesizers
  • the song is about -> the recording is about
  • away and the -> away, and the
  • Different grammar (song, song...)
  • The second song, "The Other Side", featuring Cee Lo Green and B.o.B., was considered the best on the EP by several critics. -> The second release, "The Other Side" featured the vocal collaboration of Cee Lo Green and B.o.B., and was considered the best on the EP by several critics.
  • It's instrumentation -> Its instrumentation
  • Drum and Bass -> drum and bass
  • tracks are -> tracks were described as
  • while the third is also a "slow burner" -> with the third being named a "slow burner"
  • Remove "meanwhile"
  • with a laid -> featuring a laid
  • Pardalis, of 411mania.com, -> Pardalis of 411mania.com
  • found the hook -> found its hook
  • can be described -> were described
  • friend and shows -> friend, and shows
  • Reword "while others considered that the song just keeps getting better as it progresses."
  • a phenomenal hook -> a "phenomenal hook"
  • trough the moon in hopes that his words reach their destiny -> through the moon in hopes that his words would reach her destiny

Not "her" destiny, the destiny of the words, which is actually the girl. I'm not sure how you want to play this out? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:47, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Release and promotion
  • 2010, by -> 2010 by
  • France, on August 11, 2010, by -> France, on August 11, 2010 by
  • Records. However, it didn't feature "Count on Me" on the tracklist. -> Records; this edition didn't feature "Count on Me"
  • "The Other Side" was released as the first song released from the EP on July 2010. -> Reword
  • Use diversed grammar
  • features -> featured
  • included in the -> included on the
  • debut album -> debut studio album
  • to the deluxe edition of the album -> on the deluxe version of the record
  • but "Somewhere in Brooklyn" -> with the exception of "Somewhere in Brooklyn
Issues fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:58, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Critical reception
  • which are "great", -> which he described as "great"
  • he added -> He added
  • Use different grammar (track, track...)
  • as "pop -> as a "pop
  • pleasure". Lamb further praised the EP saying -> with him further praising the record by saying
  • rating the debut found and a half out of five stars. -> rating It's Better If You Don't Understand four and a half stars out of five.
  • draws -> drawed
  • Different grammar (EP, EP ...)
  • which doesn't -> which didn't
Done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:58, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Chart performance
  • ninety-nine on Billboard 200, on -> 99 on Billboard 200
  • Try to write long sentences, not clipped ones
  • in the US -> in the United States
  • It also made into the United Kingdom, by peaking at number ninety-seven at the UK Albums Chart, on the week of August 28, 2010. -> It's Better If You Don't Understand reached as well number 97 on the UK Albums Chart on the week of August 28, 2010.
  • chart in the -> chart on the
  • at 117 -> at number 117
Addressed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 11:07, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Track listing
  • Set a full stop after the debut sentence
  • (*) denotes co-producer -> a more professional way of doing this is presented in Anti (album), but it's your thing if you'll implement it or not
It looks better that way. Addressed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:40, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Credits and personnel
  • Credits are adapted from -> Credits adapted from
Amended. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:58, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Release history
  • Unlink labels and format
Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:58, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: I have addressed all the comments above. As usual, I left some questions. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:53, 29 May 2016 (UTC) P.S.There were two dead links, I archive them. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:58, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.