Talk:Jim Jones/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ruthgrace (talk · contribs) 00:10, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I will be reviewing this article over the next few days. Ruthgrace (talk) 00:10, 7 March 2022 (UTC) So far the article is very well written! I will keep a running tab of notes here:[reply]

~~updated in the Latter Rain movement section~~

Many attendees in the campaign believed Jones's performance

to remove the extra "s":

Many attendees in the campaign believed Jones's performance

~~updated in the image caption in the Latter Rain movement section~~

William Branham helped launch and popularize Jim Jones's ministry in 1956.

to remove the extra "s":

William Branham helped launch and popularize Jim Jones' ministry in 1956.

~~I think there are more of these throughout the article. I recommend doing a find and replace.~~ Ruthgrace (talk) 05:07, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, never mind, grammar doesn't work the way I thought. I'm going to revert my edit. (reference: https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/apostrophe.html#:~:text=The%20general%20rule%20is%20that,ends%20in%20s%20or%20not.&text=The%20possessive%20of%20a%20plural,a%20letter%20other%20than%20s.) Apologies. Ruthgrace (talk) 05:08, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

3. I have a question about this sentence at the end of the Focus on San Francisco section:

Jones's criticisms led to increased tensions with the Nation of Islam, so he spoke at a large rally in the Los Angeles Convention Center that was attended by many of his closest political acquaintances, hoping to close the rift between the two groups.

Could we add something about how speaking at this large rally was hoped to close the rift between the Nation of Islam and the Peoples Temple? Was it the content of the speech? Were people from the Nation of Islam in attendence? Ruthgrace (talk) 05:30, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)}

I read through the whole article and it is indeed well-written! I will do one more pass to check the citations. Ruthgrace (talk) 05:46, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

1. Would you mind citing (or deleting) this sentence in Early Life? Hard to tell if it belongs with the Kilduff ciation in the next clause.

Jones went by the nickname Jimmy during his youth.

Done, Guin, p. 20 —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 00:05, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

2. The text in this sentence in the Latter Rain movement section doesn't match the linked citation:

With the support of Branham and Mattsson-Boze, Jones was elected as President of the Pentecostal Convention Board in 1957, helping Jones secure connections throughout the movement.[74]

Fixed it, looks like a link mixup: https://jonestown.sdsu.edu/?page_id=81621 —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 00:05, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I got up to the Rainbow Family section and will continue tomorrow. So far so good! Ruthgrace (talk) 06:32, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Back at it today!

3. A sentence from the article in the Focus on San Francisco section:

He spoke with publisher Carlton Goodlett of the Sun-Reporter newspaper about his remorse over not being able to travel to socialist countries such as China and the Soviet Union, speculating that he could be Chief Dairyman of the U.S.S.R.

The cited material says

Rev. Jones indicated with remorse that he was never able to visit socialist countries such as the Soviet Union or China. He allowed himself to be persuaded that he could be a very good Chief Dairyman. He wondered about living in the Soviet Union, and was told he would probably be the chief dairyman.

It doesn't sound like he speculated himself that he would b the Chief Dairyman. Also I think there's some context missing here -- the reason this was said was because dairy equipment was being exported to and set up in Guayana. I recommend deleting the Dairyman part of the sentence, or rewording it to better match the citation.

I modified this a bit and moved it to the Jonestown section where it better fits in context. —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 00:05, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

4. At the end of the Jim_Jones#Formation section:

Jones began to propagate his belief in what he termed "Translation" once his followers settled in Jonestown, claiming that he and his followers would all die together, move to another planet, and live blissfully.

I don't see in the source where it says that the "Translation" involves moving to another planet. Maybe I'm missing it or it's from a different source or it should be removed.

Good catch, that was some older content I had not reviewed the source fully. I have it adjusted now to better reflect the source. —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 23:37, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

5. Recommend replacing the broken link in this citation Jim_Jones#cite_note-262. Here's a working version of the same content: https://www.religionnewsblog.com/17677/jonestown-2

I adjusted this. I am not sure the religion blog is a reliable source so I clipped the sentence and source some from Reiterman. —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 00:05, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I ran the article through copyright violation detection (https://copyvios.toolforge.org/), and it looks good. Some text from other sources were highlighted but they've been appropriately quoted and attributed in the article.

Other than the very minor points above, the article looks great -- it is indeed well-written, verifiable, broad in its coverage, neutral, stable, and illustrated. I'll be happy to pass it once the points are addressed. Ruthgrace (talk) 19:07, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Let me know if you have any questions or concerns, Charles! Nice work. Ruthgrace (talk) 19:11, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! I will work to get these issues addressed for you over the next couple days and get back with you. —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 21:20, 7 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I think I have addressed all the concerns you noted. Thank you. Let me know if you have any other concerns. —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 00:05, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Charles Edward , I think we're just missing #4 where I wasn't able to find anything about "Translation" involving moving to another planet in the source. It's possible I missed it - just let me know. Ruthgrace (talk) 17:06, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I think I got it now. Sorry I overlooked that one. —Charles Edward ^{(Talk | Contribs)} 23:37, 9 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Just marked the article as a Good Article, and updated where it said class=B to class=GA. A bot should come along and give the article the Good Ariticle icon, but if it fails, feel free to ping me, and I can add it manually.

Congratulations! I genuinely enjoyed reading your work, and learned a lot about cults and Jim Jones's relationship to San Francisco (as well as how to use the posessive apostrophe, haha). Well deserved :) Ruthgrace (talk) 05:24, 10 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]