Talk:Joseph Gelders/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Z1720 (talk · contribs) 00:50, 1 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I will be reviewing this GAN in the coming days. Please ping me or message me on my talk page if you have any questions or concerns. Z1720 (talk) 00:50, 1 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

~~This nominee is almost a pass, it just needs some changes and added text.~~

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

I made some copyedits of minor problems in the article. If you do not like a change, please revert it and post why you did not like the change below. Here are some parts that need to be fixed before this article is passed:

A sentence about his death should be included at the end of the lede.
The picture in the infobox needs a caption.
"He was the son of Blanche Loeb, whose pioneering Mississippi family was active in cultural circles" Pioneering is listed in the words to watch list and is not needed because explaining why Blanche Loeb was pioneering would be offtopic. Also, what do you mean by "active in cultural circles"? What is a cultural circle? Were they involved in cultural activities across the state? This should be reworded and more specific.
"and Louis Gelders, a successful restaurateur and real estate businessperson." Successful is subjective and feels puffery. Since explaining why she was successful would be offtopic, this can be removed.
"He worked at several jobs including "third helper in an open-hearth furnace of the Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad Company."" A direct quote needs a citation at the end of the quotation.
"A 1934 ore-miner strike leading to the killing of several black miners was the catalyst for his civil rights activism and labor organizing efforts." This should be rephrased as "The catalyst for his civil rights activism and labor organizing efforts was a 1934 ore-minor strike which led to the death of several black miners." This removed the passive voice in the sentence.
"Alabama Governor Bibb Graves asked for assistance in the investigation." Who did he want to assist in the investigation?

Let me know if you have any questions. Z1720 (talk) 01:57, 1 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Z1720, Thank you for the thorough review; I look forward to collaborating with you. My plan is to work on this tomorrow. Best, TJMSmith (talk) 02:30, 1 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Z1720, I tried addressing your suggestions/comments above. Let me know! In case you are interested, we discovered Gelders' daughter Marge Frantz while working on this. It is currently a GAN. TJMSmith (talk) 19:57, 1 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

TJMSmith I removed the wikilink to internal injuries because the back-to-back wikilinks looked weird. My other concerns have been addressed so I will pass this GAN. Great job! As for Marge Frantz, I will read it when I get the chance but I won't review it at this time. I believe different editors should review someone's work as much as possible for new perspectives and ideas. Let me know if you need any other help. Z1720 (talk) 00:20, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Z1720, Many thanks! FWIW, I didn't write the Frantz article, just uncovered her through writing of this article :) Best! TJMSmith (talk) 15:16, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]