Talk:Joseph Parker/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aircorn (talk · contribs) 09:22, 27 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Will review this over the next few days. AIRcorn (talk) 09:22, 27 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Amateur career

But it was not until he was ten years old when he joined the Papatoetoe Boxing Club to pursue and learn more about the sport. This seems to missing something or is grammatically incorrect.
He was trained by Grant Arkell and former great, Manny Santos Former great seems a bit WP:PEACOCKY.
He is the middle child, being one of three children. Bit redundant with the next sentence
Parker also comes from a religious family, belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Need a citation for a statement on someones religion
Parker started traveling around the world at sixteen years of age. Do you mean boxing internationally?
It was not until he prepared for the AIBA Youth World Championships in Azerbaijan Is there supposed to be more to this sentence?
Parker's first major event. Another part sentence
Unfortunately he had to attend by himself because of affordability, but was looked after by the Australian National Team Management as his coach Grant Arkell could not afford to accompany him. "Attend by himself because of affordability" and "as his coach Grant Arkell could not afford to accompany him" in the same sentence.
He was also to be... Grammer
In the end it was the Croatian who managed to gain the upper hand in the final round and push ahead to an 8:6 victory, as Parker left the ring nursing an injured nose but successfully winning bronze. Parker left in during the final round?
Followed by the semifinals against Jake Ageidu. What happened in the semifinal?
He then met Emile Gineste from Tahiti, in his final. Shouldn't it be "the Final"?

Done all. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 03:24, 28 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Professional career

The then twenty-year-old stepped into the professional ranks for the first time, Parker was hyped as New Zealand's most promising boxer since David Tua and had a lot to lose going into his professional debut Grammar and repetition with the opening sentence.
Parker was favourite to win and expected to add another win to his professional record More repition and grammer issues.
Controversy occurred,... What controversy.
He defeated Botha in June 2013 by a second round stoppage Did Williams or Parker defeated Botha in June 2013?

Done all. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 03:41, 28 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I am finding a lot of grammar problems, repetition and other prose problems. I am going to stop commenting here (second paragraph of career beginings - I haven't looked at the lead yet). I think this needs a good copyedit before i continue. AIRcorn (talk) 10:14, 27 September 2017 (UTC)

Response

@Bennyaha: It has been a month now and am not seeing any activity at the article or here. Unfortunately I will probably have to fail this if I don't get a response soon. AIRcorn (talk) 22:56, 26 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Aircorn: I hate seeing these kinds of situations; is this all that needs to be addressed? If so, give me a couple of days (or hours, we'll see how motivated I am...) and I may be able to take care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 03:09, 28 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

It appears much of the article still needs to be reviewed. I've fixed everything so far, but I'm not a boxing expert, so if more serious issues arise, this may be better of being archived and re-nominated later. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 03:41, 28 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Bcschneider53: Yeah I got to that point and realised someone needs to do a pretty thorough copyedit. Didn't see the point in continuing until that was done s it would likely change some of the content. I had left a comment to that effect, but accidentally deleted it when I added this section. Unless you are keen to do this it is probably best I fail this for now (it has been a month and until you showed up the activity at the article is minimal. I will give Benny a week to respond first though. AIRcorn (talk) 09:08, 28 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I don't have time to give it the thorough copy-edit it needs. It's probably best to fail it for now unless the original nominator responds. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 11:35, 28 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Failing Articles should really be copy edited before nominating. I have allowed a more than reasonable time since mentioning this. Even if it was copy edited now I would still have most of the review to complete and this would stretch things out even further. WP:Deadline, but there are other things I wish to do and I see no reason to keep this open any longer. Anyone can feel free to nominate it when they are confient it is closer to the criteria. AIRcorn (talk) 21:28, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]