Talk:Jujutsu Kaisen 0 (film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 22:42, 25 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this one. If I'm not back this time next week with updates/comments, ping me. --ProtoDrake (talk) 22:42, 25 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section):

b. (citations to reliable sources):

c. (OR):

d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects):

b. (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

Okay, here's the review. It's mostly prose and phrasing issues I spotted.

General thing here, but some of the phrasing seems very...personal. Maybe some rewriting to be more encyclopedic.
- Reworded
"MAPPA changed the format of it during discussion." - "changed its format" reads better.
- Done
"also took in a $196.2 million in revenues worldwide." - There's a clash of phrasing here. Either "took in x" or "took in an extra" or similar.
- Done

Overall, there's a bit of repetition of people's full names in the text, which gets wearing especially as all their names are dissimilar enough that it wouldn't cause confusion.
- Done
I know it may be a bit of a juggle, but you should probably do a brief introduction of Jujutsu Kaisen.
- Done. It's kinda confused though considering 0 was written first as Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School. Then the author wrote Jujutsu Kaisen and then turned Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School into Jujutsu Kaisen 0.
- Also the subheads would probably read better as "Origin" and "Development", because at the moment it just reads like someone tacked on clickbaity title heads. Or merge them.
Your current designation of which series is based on which manga is very...circular. Maybe rewrite to differentiate it better, because at the moment it feels like it requires prior knowledge.
- Reworded
Similar to the point above, but for the uniniciated, who or what is MAPPA?
- Added the fact it's the studio
"they contacted Akutani who gave them the idea" - Akutani or Akutami? Other places it's Akutami.
- Revised
"Megumi Ogata surprised Park in the making of the movie by giving Yuta a sensitive characterization in crying." - This feels more like it belongs with Ogata's bit in the VO section.
- Done

Small note, but as none of the English actors are mentioned here, probably should clarify that it's just the JP voices here.
- Done
"a brilliant curse master, and is a more veteran voice actor than others in the cast." - Maybe split this into two sentences.
- Done
"how cool the protagonists of the movie are" - Maybe put cool in quotes here.
- Done

Again, there's some full name repetition and wordiness that could be revised. And some website pages are double-linked.
- Removed those wikilinks.
What's New QQ and is it reliable? Also, the bit it's sourcing is very generic. I'd expect several sources for such a broad statement.
- Removed
"In the climax of the movie, Yuta manages to overpower Geto, who escapes after suffering severe wounds. As he tries to leave, Gojo appears and kills him. This scene confused the viewers of the movie, due to Geto still appearing in the television series that was set a year after the time in the movie. The nature of Suguru Geto's survival is not explained, either, in the first season of the anime and, instead, writers claimed that fans have to read the main anime series as the manga explains properly the nature of Suguru Geto once Gojo meets him again." - This is...a big one. Here's a suggestion. "Geto's unexplained survival in the anime after his apparent death in Jujutsu Kaisen 0 was a point of confusion for viewers, with the writers claiming the manga explained the inconsistency, making it necessary reading". Or something like that.

Trimmed a lot.

For the paragraph after this, the explanation of the scene could also be shortened, and is ONE Esports a reliable source?

Removed ONE and combined ending with reception.

That should be enough for a first pass. It's a lot. I'll put this on hold for now. --ProtoDrake (talk) 11:34, 31 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@ProtoDrake: Thanks for the review. I tried revising everything.Tintor2 (talk) 18:59, 31 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: That looks okay. I did a little tidying while putting the mark in, but nothing major. I think this counts as a Pass. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:03, 31 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]