Talk:Klaus Ebner/GA1

GA Review

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Will start soon. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 20:14, 10 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Could you expand the lead? It needs to summarize the whole article. Probably 2 or 3 paragraphs.

Every online ref needs at least a publisher and an access date.

For ref 5, maybe include the books and their ISBNs, or at least the first and last book.

Try and find ISBNs for all books, or if they're just published online, provide a link if it exists. I don't know if foreign books don't have an ISBN, in which case don't worry about it, or use the foreign equivalent.

"Ebner began publishing more frequently after 2004." seems like original research. Use specific page to back this up[1] and say something like "according to his anthology publication list, he was published 6 times before 2005, and 14 times after." I may have miscounted or made other errors since I only know English, but hopefully you get the idea.

" Multiculturalism plays an eminent role, shown quite clearly by the second book, a collection of short prose, Auf der Kippe (On the Brink)." sounds like original research. You need second party sources for analysis. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 20:26, 10 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Use "Secondary school" instead of "high school", it's confusing to US readers, where high school is only 3-4 years.

Use "friends" instead of "comrades"

"Eventually he concentrated on various professional careers, such as translation" which year? Eventually is vague.

Same with "which was published eventually in Germany" when?

"The author's interest in Arabic and Muslim civilizations is reflected by several stories, such as in "Momentaufnahme" ("Snapshot") and "Flug sechs-zwo-zwo" ("Flight six-two-two)",[9] "orgiastisch" ("orgiastic")[10] and others." this is original research. You could say something like "He wrote several stories involving Muslims" maybe.

All one or two sentence paragraphs should be merged into larger paragraphs.

The first paragraph of the "Work" section needs references. Again, saying "He is highly interested in Catalan language and culture" is original research unless a secondary source backs it up. Stick to hard facts, like what he published, but don't try and say why he wrote that stuff. Mabye his professor made him write it, and he doesn't like Catalan literature, who knows?

"Due to having to find other work after the birth of his first son in 1987, Ebner's literary activities slowed drastically." needs ref, else it's original research.

"Ebner's cultural essays about Catalan culture, e.g. about Barcelona and Andorra, have been published by the magazines Literatur und Kritik and Zitig." needs refs

"almost twenty" do you know exactly how many? If not, it's OK.

"Multiculturalism plays an eminent role, shown quite clearly by the second book, a collection of short prose, Auf der Kippe (On the Brink)" sounds like original research

same with "This theme reoccurs in Fortlauf (Continuation), which tells a similar story" OR

"His writing style is characterized by a very careful and acerbic wording. Each sentence has a melody; his short prose especially sounds lyrical." is OK if Jezek said it, otherwise it's original research.

"about which the old man begins to talk." sounds funny. Maybe "about which the old man speaks."

Whether you should include a poem is borderline under our fair use policies, since it's copyrighted. I'll let it stay, but it probably shouldn't. A quote or two would be better.

"The narrative style evokes the child's perspective." sounds like original research.

The "Awards and literary prizes" should have references.

OK, the article needs quite a bit of work, mostly because of the original research. Please provide some diffs showing how you fixed the OR. The easiest way will be to remove it. The best way to fix it is to find reviews and comments from the author that back it up. I'm sure it's all true, but we need to show that it's someone's opinion other than a wikipedian's opinion. If you address all my comments, I'll pass it. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 20:55, 10 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I addressed all comments yesterday and tried to improve as stated. Then I asked user Yllosubmarine to do a proofreading for the newly added sentences since my native language is not English (nor Irina's, who helped). When I have an answer I will contact you on your talk page. --Helmut Bihy (talk) 15:09, 13 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give the article a look-over shortly, and leave any additional issues/concerns here. It looks much improved already, though. Nice work! María (habla conmigo) 19:19, 13 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I made mostly minor changes (diff), but check them to ensure I didn't represent the facts incorrectly. Some points:

I'm not sure the novella Das Brandmal needs to be summarized in such great detail. Can it be condensed to one sentence?
I changed The winning short story, "Der Flügel Last" ("The Wings' Burden") to Another award-winning essay, "Was blieb vom Weißen Ritter?" ("What Remains of the White Knight?"), although I'm unsure if this is correct. Is award-winning what was intended?
At first I reworded the summary of the poem "a paperman and sick", but ultimately I decided to remove it all together. Since the poem is included in the article already, I don't think there's a need to summarize it.
I added a little information about Ebner's early life to the lead in able to better fulfill WP:LEAD. I think it's a good summary of the entire article now.

If you have any other questions/comments, just let me know. I hope this passes! María (habla conmigo) 20:08, 13 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Review done

All comments of Peregrine Fisher have been addressed. Further details:

I added "retrieved on -date-" to all hyperlinks; Yllosubmarine removed them from the External links part. Since she has a lot of experience I guess this is what I should have done.
I had to correct one passage of Yllosubmarine's review (university paper vs. stories about Muslims) and I removed her brackets in a quotation (since the quotation has been translated from a critical review in German, the grammatical form doesn't matter).
I shortened the novella description, as suggested.

Many thanks to Irina and María for their valuable contributions. Peregrine, I guess it's your turn now ... --Helmut Bihy (talk) 22:07, 13 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

More comments.
"Excerpts of a Catalan Diary were published in 1987" what is Catalan Diary?
"The story deals with Jewish and biblical traditions" the story of the novel, or one or both of the chapters?
"In 2008, Ebner published two other books of narrative fiction, among them the short novel Hominide (Hominina)." Why don't you include a ref with info on the books.
How about a ref for "In 2008, Ebner was awarded the Wiener Werkstattpreis for his short story "Der Flügel Last" ("The Wings' Burden"), which describes a seven year old girl who suffers from cancer."
OK, pretty close. Address my new comments, and I'll pass it. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 23:53, 13 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

User Helmut Bihy already addressed the new comments. --Irina Walter (talk) 13:19, 15 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

New comments have been addressed

All of the new comments ("more comments") have been addressed now. Please re-check, Peregine. Thank you. --Helmut Bihy (talk) 20:43, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Good work. I'll pass it. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 20:47, 17 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]