Talk:Koningsdag/GA1
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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 16:24, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- Lead
- Are you using American or
properBritish spelling? I notice that the lead has "honor" but the Beatrix (1980–present) section has "honour".
- I tried to use British, obviously I goofed. WP:MOSDATE prescribed day first as that was existing article and it would have looked odd to use US.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:50, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- Probably ought to briefly explain the significance of the colour orange to the Dutch at the end of the final paragraph.
- Wilhemina (as princess 1885–1890, as queen 1890–1948)
- "Faced with an unpopular monarchy, in the 1880s, the liberals in Dutch government sought a means of promoting national unity." The punctuation makes this somewhat ambiguous. Was the monarchy unpopular in the 1880s, was that when the liberals decided to do something about it, or all of the above? As an aside it seems strange that it would be the liberals who were sufficiently concerned about the popularity of the monarchy to try and do something about it.
- The monarchy was in trouble. Willem III was a womanizer and strongly disliked, the recent death of his adult son meant that the heir was a four year old girl, and it just wasn't a good time to be Dutch. I'll work on it.--Wehwalt (talk) 19:45, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- "Similar processions followed in following years." Bit awkward.
- "... when the Queen came of age in 1898, her coronation was postponed a week to 6 September 1898". No need to repeat 1898.
- "... giving additional reason to the celebrations." That doesn't read quite right to me.
- "... members of the Orange Committees, which organize the holiday events ...". Probably need to expand on these committees. Who sits on them? Are they elected bodies or self-appointed? Who pays for the entertainments they organise?
- I've found a bit about them, though they are a bit obscure, and will add it.
- Juliana (1948–1980)
- "The marriage day, and the first Koninginnedaggen after the marriage saw anti-German riots in Amsterdam. Is Koninginnedaggen a plural? If so, should this be something like "the first few ..."?
- Flea market
- "The vrijmarkt is a nationwide car boot sale or flea market." Already explained this earlier in the article, but I've never considered car boot sales to be the equivalent of flea markets anyway.
- "ING Bank also forecast that the lowest level of sales at the vrijmarket in 2011 would be in the province of Limburg, site of the Queen's visit". So were they right?
- They make these projections right before Queen's Day, it seems to be a tradition. I have never seen a post analysis, not sure where the data would come from.--Wehwalt (talk) 20:04, 5 May 2011 (UTC)
- "Over half of the Dutch people buy at the vrijmarkt, with the 2010 estimated expenditure at €28." Not exactly sure what this is saying. Is it something like "... spending an average of €28 each"?
- Festivities
- "A concert given by the Dutch band Leaf in The Hague during Queen's Night in 2008". I'd be happier to see the Dutch used consistently (Koninginnenacht) rather than sometimes Dutch and sometimes English.
- "The Vondelpark is reserved for family activities". What's the Vondelpark, and what are these "family activities"?
- I've explained what the Vondelpark is. As all the source says is "family activities", I've deleted it. It may be OR, but I've been in the Vondelpark twice on Queen's Day and all I've ever seen is kids selling junk and a few food stands.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:04, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
I think I've made all the requested changes. If there was anything I missed, please let me know, as it was my intent to implement all concerns.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:05, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
- The only thing I can see that still hasn't been addressed is the Orange Committees, but this isn't FAC so it's good enough for me. Malleus Fatuorum 13:10, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
Uh, it's there, start of the "Activities" section.--Wehwalt (talk) 13:12, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.