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Talk:La La Land (Demi Lovato song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Novice7 (talk) 04:41, 23 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Pancake! I'll be reviewing this article. Novice7 (talk) 04:41, 23 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Great :) Do you think a screencap from the music video would be acceptable? I'm thinking one from the red carpet event with Demi and her Sonny co-stars. Pancake (talk) 21:48, 23 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I don't think it would pass NFCC... Maybe a screencap of the paparazzi taking photographs or a similar scene (which cannot be explained in words?) Novice7 (talk) 06:31, 24 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I hope it's not too much to ask, but maybe you can watch the video and see if you find a shot that would be acceptable? :) Thanks again for reviewing. This is like the fourth review you've done for me. Pancake (talk) 19:30, 25 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, sure. Fourth review it is :D Novice7 (talk) 03:42, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Well, I saw the video. Maybe a shot between 0:35 and 0:50 (Demi shown walking while Tiffany and others are shown in the BG as celebrities)? Novice7 (talk) 09:34, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Couldn't find a shot that really showed Tiffany or anyone else in the BG. Could you point it out here or something? Pancake (talk) 11:34, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, I just remembered something! WP:NFCC states: Non-free content is used only where no free equivalent is available, or could be created, that would serve the same encyclopedic purpose. We have free pics of Tiffany, Allisyn, Demi... Novice7 (talk) 13:46, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, never mind then :) let's just get on with the review :D 14:48, 27 July 2011 (UTC)
Can you wait till tomorrow? I'm kinda busy today :D Oh, btw, can you write a Live performances section? She performed the song on many shows/concert, so it should be included. You can search Google News Archive for references. Novice7 (talk) 15:14, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Sure i can wait :] i'll try with live performances. Pancake (talk) 16:58, 27 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Checks
  • DAB – No Dab.
  • EL – No Dead/Redirect links.

Starting review

Lead
  • Is Lovato a singer-songwriter?
Isn't she? She does write her own songs.
"Singer-songwriters are musicians who write, compose and sing their own musical material including lyrics and melodies." – Lovato writes songs but does not compose their melodies... Novice7 (talk) 10:58, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Changed to recording artist Pancake (talk) 11:52, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • La La Land is one of six songs on the album co-written by the Jonas Brothers, who also contributed with backing vocals and guitars on the track. on → to
Done
  • Lovato wrote the song about being yourself in Hollywood and not letting other people change who you are. – could use a rewrite.
Suggestion? :)
I read it once again, and I don't find a problem :) I must have been sleeping when I first read the article :D You can add "Lovato has said that she ..."? Novice7 (talk) 10:58, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done Pancake (talk) 11:52, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The song achieved its highest peak in Ireland, reaching number thirty. – The song achieved its highest peak in Ireland, where it reached number thirty on the Irish Singles Chart.
Done
  • It was used to promote Lovato's starring Disney Channel sitcom Sonny with a Chance – rewrite?
Removed "starring"
Background and release
  • The band also contributed with backing vocals and played the guitar on the song. – mentioned above.
Done
  • "La La Land" was released as the album's second single on December 16, 2008 in the United States, – please add a source.
I don't have one. This is Don't Forget (song) all over again.
Oh, I see. Novice7 (talk) 10:58, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  • The hook consists of the line "I will stay the same in the La La Land machine" – This sentence seems and sounds out of place.
Rewrite or remove completely?
I suggest removing it completely. Novice7 (talk) 10:58, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done Pancake (talk) 11:52, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • and the guitars present in the song to English punk rock band The Clash – how can guitars be compared to a band? Did the reviewer compare their sounds?
Yeah, "the guitars recall the Clash". Maybe change to "[...] to works by English punk band..."?
Yes, that sounds better. Novice7 (talk) 10:58, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done Pancake (talk) 11:52, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think the chord progression is F♯m–D–E?
You sure? How do you even figure that out? Pancake (talk) 11:52, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure either... I usually ask my friends for help lol. Novice7 (talk) 12:02, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • feels in La La Land [...] while the guitars recall the Clash – remove the highlighted part.
Done
Music video
  • The video features appearances by Lovato's – shouldn't it be "appearances from Lovato's"?
Done
  • A video is then shown to the audience, which serves as the main portion of the video. – "video" repeats.
Done
  • the audience, and Beverly praising Lovato. – and ends with Beverly praising Lovato?
Done
Live performances
Switched TV.com with Telegraph. Pancake (talk) 11:52, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Ref #28 -> italicize TV Guide
Done

That's all :) Oh hold and good luck. Novice7 (talk) 04:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I think everything's done now :) Pancake (talk) 15:21, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Good! Passing. Novice7 (talk) 04:19, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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