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Talk:Lucky Day (Nicola Roberts song)/GA1

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Reviewer: Wikipedian Penguin (talk · contribs) 12:28, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, nominator. I will be reviewing the article as part of the backlog elimination drive. Looks like a reasonably comprehensive and well-written article on first glance. Will list issues and put this article on hold in a few minutes. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 12:28, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Prose:

  • "'Lucky Day' is an upbeat pop song featuring synths; and lyrically the song talks of a boy not succumbing to advances—but doing so eventually—although Roberts stated the concept relates to all aspects of life and luckiness." – "and" should not follow a semi-colon.
  • "Critically the song was well received with responses noting the success of the Dragonette-production" Try this: "The song was well received by critics, who noted the success of the Dragonette-production".
  • "reviewers calling" → "reviewers who called" (fused participles have been recently considered ungrammatical)
  • "in addition to reviewers calling it a good follow-up single" – I am confused by this. It was a single, but why is it particularly important that critics noted that? Sorry, could you explain to me?
  • "the video was recorded" – recorded?
  • "The dress she wore in the video gained mixed responses from critics due to its short length, and the simplicity of the video also garnered mixed responses." → "The video's simplicity, as well as the dress she wore in the video, gained mixed responses from critics". That's sufficient.
  • "Roberts unveiled the track as the second single on her official website[comma] declaring"
  • "noting it was what she was into at that point'" – Why is there a quotation mark there?
  • "Roberts responded saying;" – Remove "saying" and have a colon instead of a semi-colon.
  • "The song has gathered comparisons to the Katy Perry song, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)'" – No comma should be there.
  • "and has also gathered comparisons to music by David Guetta for its dance themes"
  • "Roberts' voice has been described as a "springy" vibrato, with breathy background vocals featuring sounds effect including repeated kissing noises." – By whom was it described as such?
  • "Lyrically Roberts sings about falling in love with someone"
  • "Roberts discussed the track on her official blog"
  • "nineties-themed" → "90s-themed"
  • Much of the longer quotations in The Music and lyrics section could be shortened and paraphrased. It looks like there are too many quotes right now, sorry.
  • "Whilst reviewing the song," – Remove.
  • "noting that the band Dragonette was a large part behind the success of the track" – Unlink Dragonette here as it has been linked before.
  • "The music video for "Lucky Day" was directed by Stephen Agnes, it was filmed in New York City, on the East Village" – Semi-colon instead of comma.
  • "they weren't" – Expand contraction.
  • "a title card reading" – "a title card that reads"
  • "Roberts name and the track title is shown" — "Roberts' name and the track title is shown" (apostrophe added after "Roberts" to show possession)
  • "With the title changing color the video shows Roberts walking and skipping down" → "As the title changes color, Roberts walks and skips down"
  • "Effects are placed on Roberts shadow" - apostrophe after "Roberts"
  • "with sperm graffitied on it" – Were there actual sperm cells graffitied or was it the word "sperm"? :P Use quotation marks if it was just the word. If it was the cells, say so.
  • "As the video progresses[comma] Roberts interacts"
  • "A promotional teaser was released before the full release of the video, it saw Roberts walking on the New York City pavements" – Semi-colon instead of comma.
  • "something to which Roberts responded saying"

References:

  • Pop Dust is not a reliable source.
  • FN 7: Link Polydor Records.
  • FN 10: NME should be linked and italicized.
  • FN 17 and 20: Publisher is iTunes Store.

Article is on hold for seven days. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 13:14, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I don't want to keep you waiting but Im pretty ill right now. Just popped on wiki to notify everyone so everything doesnt go to pot. Is there any chance you could give me a couple more days. Thanks and sorry :) --FeuDeJoie (talk) 22:42, 8 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
No problem. Get well soon! :) —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 22:42, 8 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Hey, since FeuDeJoie is ill, I have fixed all the issues on the article. However, I didn't fixed the Pop Dust one because I don't see how it is not a reliable source. It is an online magazine, and it is featured in Toxic (song) which is a good article, and also has exclusive interviews with music producers such as Patrice Wilson. - Saulo Talk to Me 22:03, 27 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks. I'll have a look. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 22:04, 27 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The DAB links and the dead url have not been fixed yet. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 13:46, 29 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed them myself. Listing as GA. Congrats and thank you for helping. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 13:31, 30 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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