Talk:Max Pirkis/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 03:45, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:45, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Checklist

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
	1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
	2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Fine
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Fine
	2c. it contains no original research.	Fine
	3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Reasonably comprehensive for a subject known for only two roles.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Fine
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Fine
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Per definition
	6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	None
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	None
	7. Overall assessment.	Pending

Comments

1

"where he read Theology," - Read or studied?

I was under the impression that they meant the same thing in AmE and BrE, "read" being the BrE term. Correct me if I'm wrong though!

"Midshipman" - big m or small m?

I've changed it to small m.

Couple of these quotes could be paraphrased. ""didn't know what to expect. But I soon realised he was a pretty normal guy." for example

I shortened/paraphrased that quote, but think the others are OK

"Pirkis thought about the death of a family friend and completed it in two takes." - Perhaps clarify that he completed the scene in two takes and not the thoughts

I've reworded this one. Let me know if my changes were what you intended.

placed into a bank - a bank or a trust fund?

This interview says a bank and this one simply says his earnings were "locked away".

4th Phoenix Film Critics Society Awards. - Perhaps note its origin

I'm not sure what you mean here - should I mention who awards the prizes?

Tom Shales' quote could be trimmed / paraphrased a bit

I've trimmed it

In BrE is it "second season" or "second series"?

I changed to "second series".

Spotchecks

As of this revision:

FN2
- Should be archived
- A Fine
- B Fine
- C Fine
- D Fine
FN5
- A Fine
- B Fails verification. Doesn't say anything about "not sure what to do with his life"

I added a different citation (I think a few sentences got jumbled while I was improving the article... oops)

- C Fine
- D Fine
FN9
- A Fine
- B Fine
FN22
- A Fine

Further discussion

Holding for one week, mostly prose issues. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:25, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! I have made the appropriate fixes or replied above. Ruby 2010/2013 00:30, 21 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, looks good. Passing. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:43, 21 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again, Crisco. Ruby 2010/2013 03:04, 21 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]