Talk:McLaren MP4-30/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Relentlessly (talk · contribs) 21:05, 16 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Will be glad to review this (though it already looks pretty good!). Relentlessly (talk) 21:05, 16 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Relentlessly — any progress on this? Prisonermonkeys (talk) 09:20, 26 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, Prisonermonkeys, today's task. Relentlessly (talk) 09:59, 26 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Sorry this has taken so long.

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

"The car was driven by 2005 and 2006 World Drivers' Champion Fernando Alonso, who returned to McLaren seven years after he last drove for the team;[6] 2009 World Champion Jenson Button;[6] and 2014 season and 2015 reserve driver Kevin Magnussen, who temporarily stood in for Alonso after a testing accident". I feel like there must be a better way of phrasing this, especially the Magnussen section. I'd suggest "The main drivers of the car were the 2005 and 2006 World Drivers' Champion Fernando Alonso, who returned to McLaren seven years after he last drove for the team, and the 2009 World Champion Jenson Button. In addition, Kevin Magnussen, who had been one of the team's main drivers in 2014 and was the reserve driver in 2015, temporarily stood in for Alonso on one race weekend."
If the information is present in the article, it doesn't need to be cited in the lead, especially if it's uncontroversial. I'm not going to demand it's taken out, though!
"The car endured a difficult start". I'm not sure cars can endure difficult starts.
"some 55.8 km (34.7 mi) compared to a full Grand Prix distance—sixty-six laps—of 307.1 km (190.8 mi)" This is virtually incomprehensible. I think you want to say "This distance—55.8 km (34.7 mi)—is less than a quarter of a full Grand Prix distance of sixty-six laps—307.1 km (190.8 mi)." But I'm not sufficiently confident to make that change.
"on the final day" of what?
"noting that he could raise the ride height ... turning in to the apex" I don't understand this sentence at all.
"race winner Lewis Hamilton's race distance" Is there no better way of phrasing this?

This is a very impressive bit of work, with not too much to do. My edits. On hold. Relentlessly (talk) 17:08, 3 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Relentlessly. It might take me a little while to get on top of some of the issues, but I will try to get them done as soon as possible and tag you when they're ready to be reviewed.

A few quick things that you might be able to assist with:

"race winner Lewis Hamilton's race distance" Is there no better way of phrasing this?'"

Possibly. The writing does assume the reader's familiarity with the subject, but I cannot really think of an alternative way of wording it. The idea is that in order for a driver to be classified, they must complete 90% of the distance covered by the race winner. So if I win a 100-lap race, you must complete 90 laps to be classified as having finished and a result recorded.

"noting that he could raise the ride height ... turning in to the apex" I don't understand this sentence at all.

The ride height is the level that the suspension is set at. It's measured as the height from the road surface to the bottom of the car. A high ride height makes it easier for the car to travel over bumps without unsettling the car, but tends to make it less responsive to steering inputs. Conversely, a low ride height makes the steering more responsive, but there is a risk that the car will become unsettled when travelling over bumps.

The apex is the mid-point of the corner, although even that term is misleading. As a racing driver, you want to take the corner as quickly as possible. The apex is the point where you can start accelerating away; if you have ever watched racing, it's usually marked by the car touching the kerb on the inside of the corner.

I'm not sure what you might be able to suggest as alternative wording for this, as the definitions are quite technical, and to include them would shift focus away from the subject and interrupt the flow of the article. Prisonermonkeys (talk) 01:56, 4 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

So, @Relentlessly, what do you think of the article now? Prisonermonkeys (talk) 05:42, 12 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Everything checks out here, and since Relentlessly disappeared suddenly, I'll step in and close this. Wizardman 15:47, 5 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]