Talk:Michael Bostwick/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Quadzilla99 (talk) 17:30, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm reviewing this article but am not a football/soccer fan and so will be doing so from a non expert's position. I started to review then stopped because there is a ton of dead links. If you look at the references section you can see several dead link tags. See if you can find alternate references. At that point I'll give the full review. There's no point in me going any further until that is fixed. But I have the following preliminary questions/comments. In general sports articles, which I've written several of myself, should be accessible to all readers. So the first time a sports term is introduced it should be linked or explained.

Thanks for taking the time out to have a look at the article. I apologise for the masses of dead links, Stevenage's official website has recently changed domain and I hadn't got round to changing the references. I have done it now. SBFCEdit (talk) 02:28, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
What is "work experience" in a sports context? Either explain it or link it the first time it appears, I tried to look it up or link it myself but its never explained in the work experience I don't think.
- I was asked this question when someone was reviewing Luke Foster for GA, the term isn't covered on Wikipedia unfortunately. Work experience is similar to a loan. It counts as work experience rather than a loan because Bostwick was part of Millwall's Academy. When on work experience, players can't appear for the first-team of another Football League side but they can play for the first team of a non-league side; in this instance, Crawley Town. I am reluctant to include a definition of 'work experience' in the actual article - because, to me, explaining footballing terms isn't what writing a player article is about. But, I have now explained it in the article. SBFCEdit (talk) 02:28, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
What is "featuring" in a football context?
- The term "featuring", in a football context, simply means to play in the match in some capacity – as either a starter or a substitute. I have changed "featuring" to "playing" just to avoid any confusion. SBFCEdit (talk) 02:28, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

If you replace the dead links, I'll promptly give you a full review.

Quadzilla99 (talk) 17:30, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'll finish the full review tomorrow. Looks fairly good though. Quadzilla99 (talk) 03:36, 19 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I put this article on hold. I fixed some slight issues I saw:[1] but it needs work on non-football areas of his life. I believe it fails critieria three in this respect. Any info on his personal life, how many brothers and sisters he had, where he was born, where he grew up, if he was ever married, if he ever had any kids, and any interesting childhood events (did he idolize or ever meet a certain player) should be mentioned. Not a massive amount of info but enough to establish his personal background.

Again, thanks for reviewing the article. Also, appreciate the changes you made. Although, "sacked" is used all the time in England, especially in football! I've found a couple of things on Bostwick's personal life It's hardly anything unfortunately. Just where he grew up and that he has a daughter. It's always difficult when I'm asked to find "personal" information because the articles I work on are usually footballers that don't get much coverage! SBFCEdit (talk) 01:42, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

For instance "Person x was born to mom's name x, who was a police officer and dad's name x who was a butcher in yada yada town. He had four brothers and seven sisters. He grew up wealthy or in abject poverty. He idolized player x and knew he wanted to be an athlete when blank. He first played the sport at age x. He was small for his age or very tall for age. He excelled at the age of 11 in his sport x. He received poor grades and was suspended throughout high school or hewas on the honor roll. He also excelled at sport x." You can either incorporate info from his adult personal life into the opening section with the childhood info, or create another later section. Since he's young and probably not married or a father there might not be anything of note to mention.

I know this is a GA, but you can look at the first section of pretty much any article here for reference. Such as Ozzie Smith, Sid Barnes, Nick Adenhart, William McGregor, which are four articles I pulled at random. Most of the GA biographies are the same anyways.

One other thing; its always important to explain technical terms or lingo so a general reader can understand it. When I brought Michael Jordan to FAC I was amazed at how many people from other countries and non-fans complained about not knowing what statistics such as rebounds, assists, or field goal percentage were, and complained about those terms not being linked or explained the first time they appear. So its something that probably will come up at FAC if you nominate an article. Plus jargon is mentioned here in the MoS. I'm not talking about obvious things like points or goals (I linked those as a joke btw, in case it wasn't clear). Really what should happen is articles like work experience should have a section explaining its context in football terms so people can just pipe a link to it each time it first appears in an article.

Appreciate your thoughts. To be fair, I'm always picked up on not linking technical terms, it's something I need to work on. I like the writing side much more than the "technical" side if you understand me. SBFCEdit (talk) 01:42, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have a few other minor questions:

"an initial three-month contract" how does an "initial" three month contract differ from a three month contract?

It is an initial three-month contract because there was a view to it being extended. I have now included this in the article. SBFCEdit (talk) 01:42, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Bostwick continued his goalscoring form" is "goalscoring" really one word?

Yeh, goalscoring is really one word! Used all the time in football! SBFCEdit (talk) 01:42, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any info on how much money any of his contracts were for? Quadzilla99 (talk) 07:32, 20 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately not, all of this information is generally undisclosed. Football transfers have evolved significantly in recent years, what with agent and signing on fees, therefore the transfer fee of smaller transfers are rarely known. Contract information is never released, although the media love to speculate about how much the more commercial footballers earn. SBFCEdit (talk) 01:42, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, great work. I've passed the article. Quadzilla99 (talk) 01:04, 21 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]