Talk:New Hampshire/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 15:54, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Should have this to you within a couple of days JAGUAR  15:54, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Initial comments

Lead

• "The state was named after the southern" - should it be "was" or "is"?
• The lead appears somewhat disorganised and does not comply per WP:LEAD at this time, I would recommend merging the smaller paragraphs into bigger ones in order to improve the prose flow
• "It is known internationally for the New Hampshire primary, the first primary in the U.S. presidential election cycle" - is this really known internationally or just nationally?
• "Its license plates carry the state motto: "Live Free or Die"" - I know that is the state's motto, but not sure if anything to do with having it on licence plates makes it notable enough to appear in the lead.

• This paragraph is too short to be a standalone paragraph, I would strongly recommend expanding or merging it

• "Additionally, actor Adam Sandler grew up, but was not born in, the state" - this shouldn't be in the lead!
• Some WP:OVERLINK and list-y admissions in the second last paragraph in the lead. I would cut all non-essential people
• The lead needs to summarise a little more on other sections in the article, such as economy, law and culture

Body

• Most paragraphs in the Geography section are missing references
• "Extreme snow is often associated with a nor'easter, such as the Blizzard of '78" - informal, should be 1978
• Earthquakes section is almost entirely unreferenced
• History section is entirely unreferenced
• A tag has been in the Local government section since April 2013
• The Freight railways section is far too short and contains little information, can it be expanded or merged?
• The Colleges and universities section contains no prose and just comprises of a list, this would not pass the GA criteria
• The Media section is also a list and contains no prose, according to the GA criteria almost all sections must have some form of prose in it
• There's a citation needed tag in the Literature section
• Please see WP:LIST for the New Hampshire firsts section
• The See also section is empty

Close - not promoted

I am sorry to do this, as I live in Hampshire too, but this article does not meet the GA criteria as the main concerns are the large number of lists with no content and the large number of unreferenced sections. The lead is not organised per WP:LEAD and also some sections need to be written from scratch in order for this to pass second time. Would anybody at the WikiProject be willing to help? JAGUAR  16:11, 23 May 2015 (UTC)