Talk:Onyeka Okongwu/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 06:37, 23 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Okongwu was a four-year starter at Chino Hills High School in California (add ", playing alongside Lonzo and LaMelo Ball.")
(add "co-")MaxPreps National Freshman of the Year

To break up having too many "On [date], he had [__ points, __ rebounds, etc.]",
- I would start the section with a topic sentence: e.g. (Okongwu immediately established himself as USC's best player. <<<=== You can cite that with the link on him declaring for the draft, which says: "He quickly emerged as the Trojans' best all-around player")
- Before "On January 2, 2020, he had another strong performance," I would suggest adding a sentence like "Okongwu continued his consistency into the Pac-12 season."
Can you end the first paragraph by mentioning the Pac-12 championships and NCAA tournament were cancelled due to the pandemic?

His older brother, Nnamdi, (add "had also") played basketball for
I would combine "Okongwu is a first generation Nigerian-American." and "Okongwu is the son of Nigerian parents, Kate and Mike Okongwu." into one sentence to avoid repetition.

All minor. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 08:48, 23 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Sportsfan77777: All comments have been addressed Sportzeditz (talk) 14:26, 23 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Passing, well done! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 22:03, 23 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]