Talk:Over (Drake song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: –Chase (talk) 00:15, 19 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
See prose comments below. As for MoS: Wikipedia is not censored. "I know way too many people here right now That I didn’t know last year, who the f**k are y’all?" "Fuck" does not need to be starred-out, unless it was pulled directly from the cited article; in which case {{sic}} should come immediately after "f**k". Also due to WP:CENSOR, the audio sample needs to be replaced with one from the explicit version of the song; there is an explicit version on iTunes.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
See below.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
File:Overvideo.jpg is too high-resolution and it also fails WP:NFCC#8 as Michael Jackson homages (again, unsourced) are not discussed in the prose. File:Over.ogg needs to be shortened to 23 seconds at most; 30 exceeds the fair use limit of 10% per WP:SAMPLE.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
I'm afraid that I'm going to have to fail this article's GAN at this time. Please take into consideration the comments I have left, use them to improve the article, and renominate. Good luck getting this to GA status! –Chase (talk) 00:15, 19 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Prose

"Over" is a song by Canadian recording artist, Drake. The song serves as the lead single from his debut album, Thank Me Later. The commas after "artist" and "album" are unnecessary. "recording artist" should be changed to "rapper" as the former can apply to a vast array of musicians—singer, producer, mixer, etc.
It was written by Drake with Boi-1da, and produced by the latter and Al Khaliq. Awkwardly-worded sentence. This should be changed to: It was written by Drake and Boi-1da, who produced the song with Al Khaliq.
The song received positive reviews, commending the lyrics among other content. The song commended the lyrics or the reviews did? Needs a rephrase. And it might be nice to specify what the "other content" is.
It has peaked in the top twenty of the United States and Canada, I presume by "the United States and Canada" you mean "the American and Canadian charts". Needs to be specified.
producer of his previous singles, "Best I Ever Had", and "Forever". Both of the commas are redundant.
He went on the explain the record sums up should be changed to He went on to explain that the record sums up
Drake did a lot of work for the album in Jamaica, during which he called the "calm before the storm", and called "Over" the storm. I'm confused by this sentence. What did he call the "calm before the storm", the album, the song, or Jamaica?
that's what this industry and game will do to you if you lose yourself."[5] > I'm assuming the ">" isn't supposed to be here...
The song makes use of a heavy orchestral background, composed of "confident" rhymes in a "paced, aggressive flow" over "epic marching-band drums and violin-heavy" production." The orchestral background is composed of confident rhymes? Also, this sentence borrows too heavily from chopped-up quotes consisting of common words. This sentence should be rewritten as: The song makes heavy use of an orchestral backdrop, while Drake delivers confident, aggressive raps in a paced fashion.
her 1996 film, Set It Off, and Michael Jackson's iconic attire in his "Thriller" video. Again, neither of the commas should be here.
She commented, "It definitely isn't over for Drake-this is only the beginning."[6]. "-" needs to be replaced with "—", and what is the period doing outside of the citation?
Brad Wete of Entertainment Weekly called the song, "a prideful track about a guy who fought for notoriety, gained it, and now struggles with what comes with it: criticism, groupies, and the pressure of expected greatness." This isn't a critical analysis of the song; this is a critic explaining what the song is about.
Ryan also said that it sounds like he's pouring all of himself into every corner of the song. This is hardly encyclopedic. First of all, we don't use contractions like "he's" which are very informal. Secondly, I highly doubt the reviewer is saying Drake is literally pouring himself into physical corners the song has. Rephrase this or use a quote.
Ryan Dombal of Pitchfork Media said the song "does not back down" as the album's lead track, with "royal fanfare-- strings, horns, the works", which he called "an emperor's welcome". Again, this is not a critical analysis.
He called "Over", an "obvious grab for artistic credibility and for the most part it works." the comma is not needed after "Over".
Henry Adaso of the same site, dismissed the song Unnecessary comma.
and called the rhymes and metaphors, Yet again, unnecessary comma.
called the "distracting music" a pro of the song. This is a fragment, please attach it to something or expand the sentence.
The video was shot on March 12, 2010 in Los Angeles.[13], directed by Anthony Mandler. Mandler previously worked with Drake on the video for his collaboration with Mary J. Blige, "The One". remove the period after "Los Angeles", and I don't see a ref stating that Mandler previously collaborated with Drake, unless such content is sourced in ref 14.
"It’s so refreshing that he’s confident, but he’s not arrogant. I think that dimensionality is so important in a genre that is very one note with words like “bravado” and “swagger” and “arrogance” and “promiscuity.” Here’s a guy that’s finally putting a duality to the words and saying, “Yeah, I have all that and I do all that, but I’m also somebody that’s asking, is that what I should be doing with my life?" Quote marks within the quote need to be replaced by apostrophes, and there needs to be a final apostrophe before the final quote marks.
Roc Nation artist Rita Ora plays Drake's "distant" love interest in the video.[8] It begins with Drake dressed sitting in a room on a bed, reflecting on his new life. Several images including explosions and cityscapes are shown on him and on the wall before the "performance" begins. "distant" and "performance" are common words, they don't need to be quoted.
as she dances "provocatively" in the background. "provocatively" is also a common word.
Drake performed the song at MTV's Spring Break 2010 in Acapulco, Mexico, and at the 2010 Juno Awards. Care to explain how these performances are notable? The performances should be detailed using reliable sources, if such detail is not available, this sentence needs to go.

References

Parallel to Conception's ending statement in conclusion, Lamb commented, "It does seem like the love affair between pop music fans and Drake is "far from over." Remove the comparison to Conception's review, it's WP:OR.
On Drake and the song he said, "It’s so refreshing that he’s confident, but he’s not arrogant. I think that dimensionality is so important in a genre that is very one note with words like “bravado” and “swagger” and “arrogance” and “promiscuity.” Here’s a guy that’s finally putting a duality to the words and saying, “Yeah, I have all that and I do all that, but I’m also somebody that’s asking, is that what I should be doing with my life?" When asked of the concept of the "Over" video, Mandler said that it was something that would not be expected. Mandler explained, "Drake and I were very conscious about trying to push the limits and trying to push things forward. He came to me because he wanted to throw away the conventions of a medium, and take chances and be daring and take certain themes that are relevant to him and try to visualize them in not the obvious way." All of this in the music video section is unsourced.
Wete also pointed out that "He chose not to go the cliche rap-video route and fill his four-minute flick with nearly naked women, Ciroc bottles, and Beamers", and that he stuck with "one leading lady". Unsourced.
Is HipHopDX a reliable source? It certainly doesn't look like one...

I have made corrections as I see fit and have decided to re-nominate. Candyo32 (talk) 18:06, 31 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]