Talk:Perfect Castaway/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 01:16, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

I would be inclined to fail this article outright because of the fact that, in parts, it is very badly written. However, as I out-and-out failed the last article you submitted, I'm gonna give you a chance to fix the issues here.

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
See below. I'm going to want to see a general improvement to the prose quality before I'm happy to pass this. If you like, I'll give it a copyedit myself.

B. MoS compliance:
A few points below.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:
Generally OK.

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
The sources used are good.

C. No original research:
Not aware of any.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
See below for some specific notes. The article seems very short... There were surely FAR more cultural references of note, and there seems to be little on the inspiration of the episode. In all, I get the impression there is lots more to say. I'm really going to want to see further expansion, on top of the prose improvement (perhaps with reference to more sources, if needed- it certainly couldn't hurt) before I am willing to pass.

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
I'd like to see the character names rather than "the guys" in the infobox caption
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

"is an episode" Which? First? Second?
Character name links?
"and the guys"...
Danny Smith is a dab link
"The four men set ashore on a desert island. Several months later," Seems to skip a bit of plot here? I admit I don't really know the episode, but surely something happened?
"free beer" Link is completely inappropriate...
"his friends" Who?
"Quahog" Link?
The "Brian is not sleeping with Lois" thing, which I seem to remember was pretty much the main joke in the episode, isn't really mentioned enough...
"Also Danny Smith and Wally Wingert." That is not a sentence.
"This episode was planned to be the season premiere but was changed out of respect for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita.[2]" Any more on this? What was the premiere? Where was this shown instead? Any quotes?
"motel , famous silhouette" fix?
"The Real World" italics?
"When Peter is building a time machine out of a Delorean he said, "I never knew everyone in 1955 was on fire".[2]" So what?
The cultural references section really needs fixing up...
"received positive reviews from Ryan J. Budke from TV Squad praised that the episode embraced its irreverance" Have you even read through this article?
"Critics of both Popmatters and IGN criticized the first few episodes but felt the show regained its humor after "Don't Make Me Over" which included this episode.[4][5]" What?

Response

Have done most thing that you requested, but quahog those not have a link. have not finished how those it look now. --Saint Pedrolas J. ^{Hohohohohoh merry christmas} 18:21, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There are now even fewer sources than there was when I reviewed the article, and it has wound up somewhat shorter- these are both things I specifically said needed improvement. You've also not addressed all the points- for instance, the caption issue. Again, I'm going to want to see some expansion and, preferably, some more sources cited before I'm happy to promote. J Milburn (talk) 23:58, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Due to the lack of improvement and talk page communication, I am failing the article. J Milburn (talk) 01:20, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]