Talk:Red Hook Park/GA1
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GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 20:34, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
Sup! I'm going to be taking a look at this GAN as well. Any section marked with a Working tag means that I haven't finished combing through it, but feel free to start making changes as you see them! Kncny11 (shoot) 20:34, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
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Infobox and lede
[edit]- The infobox lists the area as 127.5 acres, which is inconsistent with the rest of the article
- Fixed I guess this was copied from somewhere. Epicgenius (talk) 21:51, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- Once again, every sentence in the second paragraph is written in passive voice. The second sentence (Joseph L. Hautman) and fourth (The Sol Goldman Play Center) can be made active
- Done
Description
[edit]Recreation fields
[edit]- Ref [2] doesn't appear to mention the area of the park
- It is in the sidebar. "More About Red Hook Recreation Area: Acreage: 58.50". Epicgenius (talk) 21:51, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- Ref [4] mentions nothing about tennis courts or a picnic area
- "Directly across from Clinton Street,"
- "is a recreational area soccer field 1" is there a word missing there?
- Added Yes. Epicgenius (talk) 21:51, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- "This playground used to contain a wading pool"
Red Hook Play Center
[edit]- Switch hyphen to en dash for "1934-36"
- I rephrased the sentence to avoid a dash entirely
- "The west and east wings are both divided" → "Both wings" in the second sentence of the paragraph beginning "The west wing", to reduce repetition
- Done
- Kill the space between the end of the sentence and the reference at the end of the last bathhouse para
- More clarification than anything: the past tense is used for the arcades on the west and east wing -- did something happen to them to change this? The rest of the para is in present tense
- The arcades have been closed and all entrance is currently through the main bathhouse. I'm not sure when these entrances were closed. Epicgenius (talk) 21:51, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- "The main pool measures" → "It measures"
- Done
History
[edit]Site
[edit]- WL Red Hook here (first iteration of the neighborhood in the body)
- Done
Works Progress Administration
[edit]- "thirty-eight acres" → "38 acres" per MOS:NUMBERS
- Done This was originally phrased to avoid putting a date right next to another number. Epicgenius (talk) 21:51, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
Decline and renovations
[edit]- "In the 1940s, the Gowanus Parkway was built by parks commissioner Moses," → "In the 1940s, Moses built the Gowanus Parkway"
- Done
- "eighteen thousand residents" → "18,000 residents" per MOS:NUMBERS
- Done
- Move [75] to the end of the sentence
- Done
- Add meter conversion for the "18-foot tall metal fence"
- Done
References
[edit]General comments
[edit]- Stability looks good.
- Pictures are CC and relevant.
- Earwig is temporarily down -- I'll AGF for now and come back around to this.
Putting On hold for now. Will check Earwig when possible.
- @Kncny11: Thanks for another review. I've addressed all of these issues. For [2], the area is within the sidebar at the bottom right, but it is a History section so I've fixed that. Epicgenius (talk) 21:51, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- Epicgenius Quick on the draw! Earwig is back up and checked out, so I think this one is good to go! :) Kncny11 (shoot) 21:57, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.