Talk:Ride the Lightning/GA1
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:38, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
I'll have this done soon JAGUAR 16:38, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- "the album moved half a million by November 1987" - sold half a million?
- Corrected.
- "Rasmussen, who had not heard of Metallica before, accepted to work on the album" - might sound better as Rasmussen, who had not heard of Metallica before, agreed to work on the album
- Corrected.
- "Metallica was apparently going to sign with Bronze Records" - 'apparently' is a weasel word, while I'm actually neutral on this matter, I would recommend removing it as any GA reviewer would mention it
- Can I use "seemingly"?
- "three weeks before they got in Copenhagen" - arrived in or got to
- Corrected, went with the second variant.
- "Elektra released the single "Creeping Death" in a sleeve depicting bridge and a skull" - depicting a bridge?
- Corrected.
- "Metallica finished 1985 with a December 29 show at the Sacramento Memorial Auditorium" - try Metallica finished 1985 with a show at the Sacramento Memorial Auditorium on December 29
- Corrected.
- "except "Creeping Death" by Hetfield and Kirk Hammett" - might be worth elaborated this to except "Creeping Death", which was co-written by Hetfield and Kirk Hammett
- No dead links
This an excellent article. Truly, I could find almost nothing wrong with it and is already looking like pure GA material. I made a few prose suggestions above, so once they're all out of the way this should be good to go. JAGUAR 17:07, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review Jaguar, it was pleasure working with you.--Retrohead (talk) 21:19, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them! This looks great now, so I'll be promoting. Good work with this
JAGUAR 14:17, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them! This looks great now, so I'll be promoting. Good work with this