Talk:Roller Soaker/GA1
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Reviewer: ZKang123 (talk · contribs) 10:29, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
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Hello, I am beginning the review! Give me some time to look through it while I access the article.
A couple of early comments:
- For the lead, can you also include when the roller coaster was first announced?
Any commentary on like the experience on the ride?Any known major incidents? (Checking with BuzzSaw (roller coaster))- Update: Don't need to write about experience since that seemed to be addressed under "characteristics" section.
- Would suggest for "characteristics" to first mention where the roller coaster was located before delving into the design specifications.
This article looks like in good shape, but I will give this a closer look and a thorough review.--ZKang123 (talk) 10:29, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
Done — Lead done. There were (fortunately) no notable incidents or accidents in the roller coaster's ten-year span. Moved paragraphs around. Adog (Talk・Cont) 13:06, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
Prose
[edit]The park also used its selection to reason that the conventional competition with other theme parks for attraction records was not always successful in enticing attendance.
– Suggest joining with the previous sentence and rephrasing to: ...instead of trying to entice visitors through constructing taller or faster coasters against other theme parks.The park announced on August 8, 2001, that it would add a new roller coaster for the 2002 season.
– Suggest moving the date at the start of the sentence (i.e. On August 8, 2001...)a planned opening date in May 2002.
– should be "planned opening date of May 2002."?The park further detailed a contest to name the roller coaster, with a winner to be chosen during the ground breaking ceremony. Out of 10,000 names among 7,000 entries, the name "Roller Soaker" was selected
– suggest rephrasing to: A contest was held to determine the coaster's name – out of 10,000 names among 7,000 entries, the name "Roller Soaker" was selected and announced at the coaster's ground breaking ceremony.Roller Soaker's station was under construction in February 2002.
– checking with the source, I'm not sure if this is relevant to mention, since it would be assumed the station would already be constructed along with the coaster itself. More significant would be when the station started construction or completed.later opening to the general public on May 11, as part...
– remove comma.Rumors began amongst the general public as to the potential sale of the Roller Soaker when the roller coaster was listed on an attraction e-commerce website in August 2012.
– suggest rephrasing to: Rumours of the Roller Soaker's sale began to spread when it was listed on an attraction e-commerce website in August 2012. If possible, specify the website? (And if possible, to cite the archived copy of the website with the coaster on sale?)The station of the roller coaster was designed by a local architect and crafted with materials already at the park.
I would specify the local architect and also guess from this article this is the same architect for the coaster?Along the roller coaster's layout
– would suggest "route" instead of "layout"?On the roller coaster there was three water curtains
– On the roller coaster were three water curtains.There were various colored water sprayers that guests could use
– Guests/visitors could use various colored water sprayers against the riders.- I note the use of "guests" throughout the article. Wonder if you can use "visitors" instead.
Done — Mostly. Changed, reduced, specified, or removed sentence structures per comments above. I chose to refrain from changing the second point for the prose as, in a previous GA review, it was noted the use of starting a sentence with "on so-and-so" was a bit redundant. I appreciate the thorough suggestions. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:41, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
Images
[edit]The two images here are freely licensed with alt. I do wonder, are there more images of the former attraction?
- There are, however, from a free license search, the images would be the same quality or would not contribute to the level of quality already in the article. Though, I wish that was different, as the Roller Soaker is an interesting footnote in the wider array of roller coaster types. Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:49, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
References
[edit]Materials cited are generally reliable.
Further comments
[edit]That's all for now. On hold.--ZKang123 (talk) 12:33, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
- @ZKang123: Everything should be addressed above. Let me know if there is any more to do or change! I appreciate the review and comments thus far. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:50, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
- Alright passed.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:03, 3 October 2022 (UTC)