Talk:Rose O'Neill (Irish noblewoman)/GA1
GA Review
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Nominator: SkywalkerEccleston (talk · contribs) 14:32, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: DoctorWhoFan91 (talk · contribs) 06:01, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
I'll take this one; I will add my initial remarks in the next 24 hours (edit- 48-72 hours). DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 06:01, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
I am somewhat busy at the moment, so I'll start with the easier changes required(though the article might not require any more changes, even after I give it another read)
Images
[edit]- Add another image, preferably related to the "Roison Dubh" song (the rose in that article will work)- the article does not do the best job to explain her significance.
In poetry
[edit]- Expand- Why is she seen as a type of "Ireland"?- give some overview, one shouldn't have to read about the History of Ireland to understand it well.
Hugh Roe O'Donnell
[edit]- Wikilink his name here too, in the first sentence
- First sentence- Mention that they were a strong clan, with a ref
- Second sentence- Mention that Rose would be around that age too, given the estimation of her birth year
- "This controversie was ... his daughter...": Paraphrase
- In December, seneschal ... the Earl's daughter".: the Earl's seneschal O'Hagan and brehon William McCrodan; paraphrase the quote
- Third Para- expand, and relate to why she is seen as a type of Ireland
- Merge last two paras
Donnell Ballagh O'Cahan
[edit]- Merge first two paras
- his first wife.[4] Montgomery wrote to: change to his first wife,[4] writing to
- Mention that she is not mentioned after 1607, seems abrupt otherwise
Parentage
[edit]- Last para- Brehon law(Early Irish law) might see her as illegitimate, but native society won't?(according to the quote): seems contradictory, explain; paraphrase the quote too
More remarks
[edit]- The Description of Ireland (1598) makes reference to this alliance: "This controversie was taken away by a double marriage, Tyrone having married O Donnell's sister, by whom he hath diverse sons, and O Donnell having married his daughter..."[13]: with The Description of Ireland (1598) making reference to this alliance.[13] (Remove the quote)
- In December, seneschal O'Hagan and William McCrodan, a brehon of the Earl, "went to O'Donnell's house to bring thither the Earl's daughter".[13]: In December, the Earl's seneschal O'Hagan and brehon William McCrodan, escorted the Earl's daughter to O'Donnell's house.
- According to McGettigan, "initially the marriage was a success and Rose came to have a measure of influence over Red Hugh".[31]: According to McGettigan, the marriage started out as a success with Rose having some measure of influence over O'Donell.[31]
- Rose's status ... to her legitimacy. Casway adds that Hugh Roe may have been attracted to her.[20]: However, Rose's status ... to her legitimacy.[20]
- "Her name was Rose and she happened to be dark-haired; hence she was called Róisín Dubh."[41]: Because of her dark hair and her name, she was also called Róisín Dubh in poetry.[41]
- Her name in English translates to "Dark Rose": Her name, as commonly used in poetry, translates to "Dark Rose" (caption)
Overall
[edit]@SkywalkerEccleston: Well-written article, especially given that you wrote it almost all by yourself; that's all my remarks for now at least. Ping me when you are done. (editing or with any inquires you might have of me, as the above comments are closer to suggestions than commands) DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 16:54, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks DoctorWhoFan91, I'll begin making these changes - I will let you know when I'm done. SkywalkerEccleston (talk) 21:59, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
- DoctorWhoFan91 I've updated the article, it's now ready for you to review. SkywalkerEccleston (talk) 23:58, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
- @SkywalkerEccleston: I have checked the sources, and they have no issues. There are some sentences which could be better-written, and some quotes that should be paraphrased; I have mentioned them in "More remarks". Make those changes and I'll pass the article. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 09:26, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks, I've updated the article per your requests. The only liberty I have taken is that I changed your suggestion "Because of her dark hair and her name, she was also called Róisín Dubh in poetry" to "She is typically called Róisín Dubh (Dark Rose) in poetry, on account of her dark hair". Let me know if this works. SkywalkerEccleston (talk) 11:02, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- It does, better than my own suggestion even. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 17:48, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks, I've updated the article per your requests. The only liberty I have taken is that I changed your suggestion "Because of her dark hair and her name, she was also called Róisín Dubh in poetry" to "She is typically called Róisín Dubh (Dark Rose) in poetry, on account of her dark hair". Let me know if this works. SkywalkerEccleston (talk) 11:02, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- @SkywalkerEccleston: I have checked the sources, and they have no issues. There are some sentences which could be better-written, and some quotes that should be paraphrased; I have mentioned them in "More remarks". Make those changes and I'll pass the article. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 09:26, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- DoctorWhoFan91 I've updated the article, it's now ready for you to review. SkywalkerEccleston (talk) 23:58, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
Congratulations, @SkywalkerEccleston:, I have passed the article. It was well written, just needed slight clarifications. Also, advice for next time- direct quoting should be kept to a minimum, paraphrasing in your own words is prefered. Again, Congratulations. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 17:48, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
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